“Mini-bazookas?” I said, aghast. “These people are supposed to be religious, for Chrissakes.”
“Oh, that’s not all. They say they’ve got H and K MP5s, whatever they are. And M16s-I know what they are-and something called a …”
Her voice faded away, and I heard her in the background. “What was it, Kay?”
Another mumbled voice, then Marsha was back. “-ARMSEL Strikers. Whatever they are.”
I looked at Lonnie. “What’s an ARMSEL Striker?”
He pointed the clicker at me. “Something you don’t want to fuck with …”
“Aw, c’mon, man. What is it?”
“Riot control. Looks like a big damn Thompson submachine gun, only it fires shotgun shells instead of bullets. Empties a twelve-round magazine in about three seconds. South African police call it a Streetsweeper.”
I held the phone back to my ear. “What is it?” she asked.
“Something you don’t want to fuck with …”
“That bad, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“I guess that explains why the Metros haven’t just blasted their way in here and hauled ’em all off to jail.”
“They’re outgunned, aren’t they?” I commented. It was a question that didn’t require an answer.
“Welcome to America in the Nineties,” she said. “Have you paid your NRA dues yet?”
“This is crazy. Freaking Looney Tunes.”
“You ought to see it from my end,” Marsha said wearily. “Another cabdriver got popped yesterday. Fourth one this month. Guy had a two-month-old baby. His first.”
“Jesus, I’m tearing up my hack license.”
“I didn’t know you had one.”
“I got it a few months ago, just in case times ever got real bad.”
“Hey, baby,” she said. “Things ever get that bad, you move in with me. I’ll feed you before I let you drive one of those puppies.”
“I’ll remember that,” I said. I felt my mouth go dry and my throat tighten. “I tried to get down there. Couldn’t talk my way past the barricades.”
“No point in trying, babe. But don’t worry, we’re-”
Pop. Static. Crackle. Damn cell phone.
“Marsha!” I yelled.
“-sorry, the phone’s fritzing out on me. Listen, I gotta go. I don’t know how long the batteries are going to last.”
“Have you got a recharger?”
“Yeah,” she said through the ever-rising hiss. “Only we’re not sure if it works.”
“Marsh,” I said, almost desperately. Damn, I didn’t want her to go. “I’ll call you tomorrow morning. You got food, water, the essentials?”
She laughed. “Enough for a couple of days. We get real hungry, we’ll pop Evangeline in the microwave.”
“Well,” I said, “at least you’ve retained your sense of humor.”
“Who’s laughing?”
“Listen, babe. Keep your head down.”
“In your dreams, smart guy. And that’s Doctor Babe to you.”
“Okay, Dr. Babe. Listen, I-I-” I got stuck, couldn’t get the words out.
“Harry,” she said, “don’t get mushy on me. This isn’t a private line.”
“Yeah. So take care, will ya?”
“Yeah. See you soon.” She hung up.
I laid the phone down next to the CV joint, wondering for the first time if I’d ever see her again.
Lonnie pointed the remote control at the television and we got sound again. The station had cut away from the morgue to a conference room at the main police station downtown. I stared dumbly at the screen, exhausted, drained. As cameras flashed and reporters jostled for position, Chief of Police Harold Gleaves walked into the room and marched stiffly to a podium set up on a folding table.
“I’ve got a prepared statement for you,” he announced. Lonnie and I leaned forward in our chairs as he described for everyone what we’d all just seen and heard. After the short statement, hands flew up.
“Has the FBI been brought in?” one reporter yelled.
“No,” Chief Gleaves said firmly. “At this point in time, we’re considering this a local matter. The local FBI office has been notified, but for the time being, we have our own hostage negotiators on scene.”
“That won’t last long,” I said.
“Yeah,” Lonnie agreed. “The Fumbling Bunch of Idiots isn’t going to let this party go by without crashing it.”
I smiled. “Maybe they’ll bring in thuh Bew-row of Al-key-hol, Tabacky, and Far-arms.…”
“Yeah.” He grinned. “Bring in the BatFucks. That’ll do it. Then we can all kiss our asses goodbye.”
“God, you’re tacky,” I said.
“What about federal weapons charges?” a voice yelled. “And kidnapping charges?”