As Max, 99 and Wormser von BOOM were disembarking from the ocean liner at the pier in Africa, a gigantic wooden crate, being carried by a crane, came loose, hurtled downward, and crashed only feet from them.
Max waved genially to the crane operator. “That’s all right-accidents will happen,” he called.
“Max! We could have been killed!” 99 said.
“99, anybody can make a mistake. And we have to pay particular attention to show these people that we’re nice guys. In some places, Americans aren’t too well thought of today. So we have to go out of our way to be friendly.”
“Yes, Max, but-Eeeeeeeek!”
A taxi had zoomed by, missing them by a matter of inches.
“Think nothing of it!” Max shouted after the driver. “Our fault for being on the sidewalk!”
“Max, what I was about to say was, isn’t it possible that these accidents haven’t been accidents? If KAOS-”
“Just a second, 99,” Max said, his eyes narrowing. “Something has just occurred to me. Doesn’t it seem a little strange to you that all of these near-fatal accidents are happening to us? Why not to anybody else? After all, there were other detested Americans on that ship. 99, I’m beginning to suspect that these accidents haven’t actually been accidents.”
“You mean-”
“Right, 99. I wouldn’t be surprised to discover that the local KAOS agents have been alerted to our arrival. From now on, we better make it our policy to be suspicious of everyone and anyone.”
“Good idea, Max.”
Von BOOM snorted. “A child could have figured that out.”
Max eyed him suspiciously. “Haven’t I seen you somewhere before, buster?”
“Max, that’s-” 99 began.
“I know, I know, 99. Just practicing.”
“Oh. Well. . what now, Max?”
“Well, we’ll- Oh, excuse me,” Max said to a small, dumpy Arab who had slipped a hand into Max’s pocket, “I think my pocket is caught on your fingers.”
The Arab glared at him. “I’m not surprised. You’re probably trying to bribe me. You despicable Americans think money is the answer to everything. How much were you going to offer?”
“Actually, I don’t carry my money in that pocket,” Max replied. “It’s in my wallet.”
“Details, details, let’s get on with the bribe.”
“I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong impression,” Max said. “I have no reason to bribe you. All I need is directions to the nearest trustworthy rent-a-camel agency.”
The small, dumpy Arab pointed. “Up the street about six blocks.” He held out a hand, palm up. “That will be five bucks.”
“Are you sure it’s trustworthy?” Max said. “No offense meant, but you know how undependable you foreigners are.”
“It’s trustworthy,” the Arab replied. “That’ll be ten bucks.”
“You said five bucks.”
“That was before I put my reputation on the line and assured you it was trustworthy. You see any signs hanging on me saying I toss in my reputation for free?”
Von BOOM started to wander off. Max reached out and grabbed him and held him. “When you said ‘line,’ he was reminded to go to the post office,” he explained to the puzzled-looking Arab.
“What is he-some kind of a Sidney?”
“So you know him, too,” said Max, shaking his head. He got out his wallet and handed the Arab a ten dollar bill. “Understand now, that’s not a bribe,” he said. “It’s payment for services rendered.”
The Arab winked. “I’ll never squeal.” He departed, folding the ten dollar bill, then tucking it into the folds of his burnoose.
“I think I handled that very well,” Max said, pleased. “Did you notice how antagonistic he was when we first met? But, when he left, he was a friend. It proves, I think, that the old saying is right: Money is the answer to everything.”
“Max, shouldn’t we go?” 99 said apprehensively. “If KAOS-”
“Later, 99. Right now, let’s get out of here. The local KAOS agents could be closing in on us right at this very moment.”
They hurried up the street. When they reached the sixth block, they slowed their pace, looking for the rent-a-camel agency.
“I don’t see it anywhere, Max,” 99 said.
“Do you suppose that undependable foreigner gave us a bum steer? I’d hate to lose my faith in the theory that money is the answer to-”
At that moment, a small, dumpy Arab stepped out of the doorway of what looked like an empty shop. “Linger a while,” he said to Max. “You walked too fast.” He then disappeared into the dimness of the vacant shop.
“What was that all about, Max?” 99 said, baffled.
Max shrugged. “I haven’t the vaguest. Let’s see what happens.”
A moment later, the small, dumpy Arab reappeared. He was toting a freshly-painted sign, which he mounted above the entrance to the shop. It said: Trustworthy Rent-A-Camel Agency.
“I think this is the place,” Max said to 99.
The Arab opened his arms to them. “Welcome, strangers,” he beamed. “I am your humble servant, Abdul Bim-Bam-Bom, local manager of the Trustworthy Rent-A-Camel Agency-Third Rate, But We Try Harder. What can I do for you?”
Max explained that they needed three camels to take them across the desert.
“Four camels,” Abdul corrected. “One camel for your trustworthy guide. You expect your guide to walk? The sun is terrible out in the desert. The sand is scorching. You want your trustworthy guide to burn his tootsies to a crisp?”
“All right,” Max agreed, “four camels. Now, where do we get a guide?”
“Don’t move,” Abdul replied. Once more, he disappeared into the vacant shop. A few minutes later he returned, carrying a second freshly-painted sign, which he hung over the first one. The new sign said: Trustworthy Rent-A-Guide Agency.
“Welcome strangers,” Abdul beamed. “What can I do for you?”
In short order, Max arranged for a guide, who turned out to be Abdul Bim-Bam-Bom.
“Now, just one more little thing, and we’re ready to leave,” Abdul said. “I’ll give you a boost, and you’ll climb up to the roof of the shop.”
“The roof?” Max asked.
“It’s the American way to board a rent-a-camel,” Abdul explained. “I saw it on a TV commercial. I’ll go get the camels and ride by, and you three jump on their humps.”
Max shrugged. “Well. . when in America. .”
Abdul strolled up the street, and Max, 99 and von BOOM climbed to the roof of the shop.
“Max, I wonder if we’ll ever see him again,” 99 said.
“I’m sure we will, 99. These people have a very highly developed sense of honor. And, besides, I haven’t paid him yet.”
“Oh. Well, in that-”
The shrill shriek of a police whistle suddenly pierced the quiet. An angry voice was heard shouting, “Stop! Thief!” A moment later there was the sound of camels’ hoofs. Four camels came racing into view, with Abdul Bim-Bam-Bom riding the leader.
“He certainly is hurrying,” Max said. “It’s a wonder he isn’t curious about all that commotion behind him. I suppose he just doesn’t want to get involved.”
“Jump!” Abdul cried, nearing the shop.
Max, 99 and von BOOM leaped, landing on the camels.
“Head for the dunes!” Abdul shouted.
The camels galloped through the streets, with Max, 99, von BOOM and Abdul hanging on precariously, and with the sound of the police whistle and the shout, “Stop! Thief!” becoming dimmer in the background. Finally, nearly an hour later, the town far behind, the camels slowed to a joggling walk.
“We got a good start,” Abdul said happily. “Only five-hundred-and-ninety-six billion pounds of sand to go.”
“When will we reach our destination?” 99 asked.
“Sooner or later, give or take a day,” Abdul replied. “That is, of course, if the water holds out. Which it should. I brought a ten-gallon canteen.”
“How many billion pounds of sand do you get to the gallon out here?” Max asked.
“Sometimes more, sometimes less, give or take a billion,” Abdul replied. “Anybody thirsty?” He halted his camel. “Yes, now that you mention it, I am,” he said.
The others stopped their camels, too, and the whole party got down and Abdul passed around paper cups of water.
99 pointed. “What’s that dark cloud in the distance?” she asked.
Max, von BOOM, Abdul and the camels looked in the direction in which she was pointing. The camels suddenly reared up, then galloped away, heading back toward town.
“I’m a lit-tle disappointed, Abdul,” Max said. “I’ve been using the rental system for transportation for a good many years now, and never in my life has a Chevrolet ever done that to me.”
“What does a Chevrolet know about a sand storm?” Abdul answered. “Those camels have got good sense. If they’d stayed here, they’d’ve probably got buried alive right along with us.”
“Max! It’s a sand storm!” 99 screamed.
“I gathered that, 99,” Max said. He turned back to Abdul. “All right, guide, how do we protect ourselves?”
Abdul looked wistfully back toward town. “I guess it’s a little late to jump aboard our camels and hightail it out of here,” he said. “I’m open to suggestion.”
“A fine guide you are!” Max said.
“Would you put that in writing?” Abdul asked. “I might want a job with an American again, and a good reference could tip the scales, one way or the other.”
Von BOOM headed off across the desert.
Max grabbed him and escorted him back. “Don’t use that word ‘tip,’ ” he said to Abdul. “It sends him out looking for a restaurant.”
“Tip, tip, tip!” Abdul said.
“Don’t do that!” Max snapped, holding fast to von BOOM.
“I’m trying to save our lives,” Abdul explained. “If he finds a restaurant, we can all go in and sit out this sand storm.”
“Max! The storm is almost here!” 99 wailed.
“All right. . everybody behind that big dune over there,” Max said. “Maybe it will protect us.”
Abdul raced toward the dune. “Follow your guide,” he called back. “Everybody behind the dune.”
Max, 99 and von BOOM hurried after him. Just as they reached the huge hill of sand, the storm hit. The wind whipped the sand, swirling it into their eyes, blinding them. Grains of sand bit painfully at their faces.
“Max!” 99 cried above the wild howling of the wind. “It’s getting deeper! We’ll be buried alive!”
“Even a camel knows that, 99!” Max shouted back.
“Think of something, Max!”
“I am thinking of something-my office back at headquarters. I wish I were there!”
“I mean think of something to help, Max!”
“How can I think, 99, with you shouting at me!”
“Max! Help! The sand is up to my neck!”
“Stand on tippy-toes!” Max suggested.
“Frabbersink bon sprottlepump!” von BOOM cried.
“You’re right, even that doesn’t help if you’re short and dumpy,” Max replied. “Try this-climb up on my shoulders.”
Von BOOM scrambled up Max’s body.
“Pommerdink!” Abdul shouted.
“All right, you climb up on his shoulders,” Max said.
Quickly, Abdul pulled himself upward on Max, then on von BOOM.
“Rowgerschmidt!” Max screamed.
“Max! Max! Get on Abdul’s shoulders!” 99 shouted.
Max clambered upward. “I’m all right now, 99,” he called down, after reaching Abdul’s shoulders. “How are you making out?”
“Razzerflinklebrump!”
“Climb, 99, climb!” Max shouted.
A few moments later, safe on Max’s shoulders, 99 said, “Max-isn’t it Professor von BOOM’s turn?”
“Okay, von BOOM,” Max called. “Up on 99’s shoulders now.”
There was no reply.
“Max. .” 99 said worriedly, “. . do you think. .”
“Let’s hope for the best, 99. Maybe he’s angry about something and just isn’t speaking to us.”
“The storm, Max-it’s letting up.”
“The Chief is going to be very unhappy about that, 99.”
“About the storm? Why?”
“Not exactly about the storm,” Max replied. “More about what we’re going to discover, I’m afraid, when the storm ends. I just stuck my hand down into the sand and found out that I’m not sitting on anybody’s shoulders.”
“But where’s Abdul?”
“That’s part of what the Chief’s going to be unhappy about. If Abdul is gone, I should be sitting on von BOOM’s shoulders-right? But I’m not. And that means-unless I’ve suddenly lost my powers of deduction-that Professor von BOOM is gone, too.”
“Max, you don’t mean-”
“Apparently so, 99. My guess is that Abdul is a KAOS agent, and that he took advantage of the storm to kidnap Professor von BOOM.”
“Max! That’s terrible!”
“It certainly is. Although, of course, it could be worse.”
“I don’t see how, Max.”
“If I’d paid him his guide fee in advance, I’d really be feeling silly about now,” Max explained.
The storm ended as suddenly as it had started. Max and 99 looked around. There was nothing but sand, sand, sand, sand as far as the eye could see. The sun blazed down on them.”
“Max, I wonder if Abdul left us any water,” 99 said.
“No. But I think he left us his share of the sand. None seems to be missing.”
“Max-what are we going to do?”
“There’s only one thing we can do, 99-try to find our way back to town. The chances are mighty slim, but, we have no other choice.”
“Which way is it, Max?”
“I’m not really sure, 99. But, in this case, we do have a choice. It’s either that way or that way or that way or that way, or somewhere in between.”
“Then, all we can do is just start walking and hope for the best.” 99 sighed woefully. “I suppose we might as well get started.”
“99, I don’t want to be the one to be the grouch in this small crowd,” Max said, “but I think I could make better headway if you’d climb down off my shoulders.”
“Oh. . yes. . sorry, Max.”
99 jumped down and they set out across the sand, hoping they were traveling in the direction of the town. The sun seemed boiling hot. They soon weakened, near collapse.
“Water. . water. .” 99 gasped.
“Ice cream soda. . ice cream soda. .” Max wheezed.
“Max. . that’s. . ridiculous. .”
“I know. . 99. . But. . if somebody answered our cries. . and I got water. . and I learned later that I could have had an ice cream soda. . I’d be pretty let-down. .”
“Max. . we’ll. . never make it. .”
“Don’t give up, 99. Where there’s a will. . there’s a way. .”
“Then. . Max. . get up off the sand. . and keep walking. .”
“I was looking. . for camel tracks. . 99.”
“Did you find any?”
“I don’t. . know. . If I did. . they were full of sand. .”
“Max!” 99 suddenly shouted. “We’re saved! Look! Coming this way! A ship, Max!”
“99. . did anyone ever tell you. . that you have a very sick sense of humor?” Max asked.
“Max, it is! It’s a ship! It’s a ship!”
“99, you have a very sick sense of humor.”
“Max, look! Look, please!”
Max raised his head and peered out across the desert. “I apologize, 99,” he said drearily. “You’re right. I see it, too. It is a ship. It’s a four-masted sailing ship. A whaler, I believe. It’s probably on a whaling expedition. Whale blubber brings a very good price, I’m told.”
99 looked at him puzzledly. “Max, you’re not very excited. I don’t understand-we’re saved!”
“99, think about it a minute. So far, how many whales have you seen out here on the desert? You could probably count them on the fingers of one elbow. Now-keeping that in mind-ask yourself: What would a whaling ship be doing out in the middle of the Sahara Desert?”
“Max, I don’t care what it’s doing out here,” 99 said. “Maybe it’s off course. The important thing is, it’s here! I see it! You see it!”
“We’re seeing a mirage, 99. A mirage is an hallucination. It’s a figment of the imagination. It doesn’t exist. It’s a trick of the mind.”
“I know what a mirage is, Max. But that ship is real.”
“A ship sails on water, 99. This is sand we’re standing on.”
“Max, that ship is on wheels.”
“You have a very sick sense of mirages, 99.”
“It’s on wheels, and there’s a whole long string of automobiles following it.”
“You have a very sick and crowded sense of mirages, 99.”
“Max! Someone’s waving to us from the deck!”
“Wave back, 99. Let’s not let the fact that we’re dying out here in the middle of the desert make us forget our manners.”
“Max, the ship is almost here! There’s a man on the deck. He’s wearing knickers and a Hawaiian shirt and sun glasses and a pith helmet.”
“Sick, sick, sick, 99.”
“Max, the whole caravan is stopping-the ship and the cars. The man is being lowered in a longboat. The longboat is resting on the sand now, Max. The man is getting out. He’s heading this way, Max!”
“Ask him how he’s fixed for ice cream sodas,” Max muttered.
“Max! He’s here!”
Max raised his eyes. Standing before him was a small, dumpy man who was wearing sandals, knickers, a Hawaiian shirt, dark glasses and a pith helmet. “99, you’re mirage is straight out of Hollywood,” Max said.
“Greetings, natives,” the man smiled. “I’m Max von Sydesheau, straight out of Hollywood. I’m shooting a picture out here. Moby Dick. I could use you two as extras. Either one of you had any experience ducking a harpoon?”
“Water!” 99 gasped.
“Now, wait a minute,” Max said, staring narrow-eyed at the man. “Are you for real? Do you expect us to believe that you’re actually a motion picture director? That you’re making a movie of Moby Dick? Where’s your whale?”
“In the trunk of one of the cars,” Max von Sydesheau replied. “It’s inflatable. That means that if you blow air into it-”
“I know what inflatable means,” Max broke in. “But it still doesn’t make sense. Why would you bring a ship-”
“Water!” 99 gasped.
“Just a second, 99,” Max said. “There’s something very fishy about this.”
“It’s in the trunk of one of the cars,” von Sydesheau said. “It’s inflatable. You-”
“Don’t change the subject,” Max snapped. “Why would you bring a ship way out here into the middle of the desert to shoot a sea picture? Why not film it on the ocean?”
“My ship leaks,” von Sydesheau replied. “I’m working on a very tight budget.”
“Water!” 99 gasped.
“Well, now it’s beginning to make a little sense,” Max said grudgingly. “But, I’m sorry, we’re not available as extras. You see, we’re a couple of secret agents, and we’re on duty.”
Von Sydesheau nodded. “Spying on the sand-I got it.”
“No, no, we got caught in a sand storm and we’re lost,” Max said. “If you could just help us get back to civilization, we’d-”
“Water!” 99 gasped.
“-appreciate it a great deal,” Max continued. “We have to report in to headquarters.”
“Of course. You can go back when we go,” von Sydesheau said.
“Uh. . about how long will that be?”
“Well, let’s see. . we start shooting in the morning. If we’re lucky, and we don’t get a blowout in the whale, in about six months, give or take a month.”
“Well. . since our mission is somewhat of a bust, I guess there’s no hurry to get back,” Max decided. “All we’ll get is a bawling out, anyway.”
“Water!” 99 gasped.
Max looked at her, then turned back to von Sydesheau. “I wonder if my friend and I could get a drink of water?” he said.
“Well. . we expect to be out here quite a while, so we’re trying to conserve our water,” von Sydesheau replied. “Would you settle for an ice cream soda?”
Von Sydesheau took Max and 99 aboard the ship. They quenched their thirst, then followed the director about as he oversaw the setting up of the scenery-large canvases on which were painted views of an ocean.
Suddenly, 99 pulled at Max’s sleeve. “Max. . over there. . look. . Doesn’t that short, dumpy man look familiar?”
Max looked. “Which one, 99?”
“Now that you mention it, both of them. Max! That’s-”
“Von BOOM and Abdul!”
“Yes!”
Max and 99 rushed over to the two men. Abdul was still wearing his burnoose. But von BOOM was now dressed in the uniform of a ship’s captain.
“Von BOOM!” Max cried. “You’re safe!”
“I’m safe, too,” Abdul said.
Von BOOM touched a finger to his lips. “Shhh-shh-shhh!” He motioned to Max and 99 and drew them aside, behind a tent. “Don’t give me away,” he said.
“Give you away?”
“Von Sydesheau doesn’t know I’m a scientist,” von BOOM explained. “He thinks I’m a native. He gave me the starring part in his picture. He says I’m a natural. I’m playing the title role-Moby Dick.”
“Von BOOM, the leading role is the part of Captain Ahab,” Max said. “Moby Dick is the whale.”
“Shhh! Don’t tell von Sydesheau!”
“You mean he’s shooting the picture and he doesn’t- This is ridiculous! Professor, you’re not an actor. And, besides, you have a duty to your country. You’re supposed to be getting the bugs out of your lightweight rocket fuel.”
“I say, leave it alone, maybe they’ll drown,” von BOOM said.
“But you’re a scientist!”
“That was yesterday,” von BOOM replied. “Today, I’m a Star.”
Max sighed gloomily. “How did you get here, anyway?” he said.
“I was looking for 99’s shoulders, and I guess I got lost,” von BOOM replied. “Then, when the storm died down, we-”
“We?”
“I was on his shoulders,” Abdul said. “But I’m safe now.”
“We saw this ship sailing toward us,” von BOOM went on. “I waved my arms and yelled Help! Help! Help!”
“I just sat there,” Abdul said. “I thought it was a mirage.”
“To make a long story short, the ship sailed up to us,” von BOOM continued, “and von Sydesheau offered me the part in his picture. He liked the way I yelled. In the picture, my big line is: ‘Thar she Blows!’ ” He started to wander away.
Max grabbed him and led him back. “Try not to use that word ‘line,’ ” he said.
Von BOOM started to wander away again.
Once more, Max retrieved him. “And I won’t use it, either,” he said. “Now, look, Professor-think what you’re doing. You studied for years to become a scientist. You worked hard to reach the top in your profession. All that work and study must have meant something to you. Why did you do it?”
“Because nobody ever offered to make me a Star before,” von BOOM replied.
“Let me talk to him,” Abdul said.
“I would appreciate that,” Max replied gratefully.
Abdul addressed von BOOM. “Don’t listen to this bum,” he said, indicating Max. “You don’t have to. You’re a Star. Say the word, and I’ll have him tossed off the set.”
“Thanks just oodles,” Max said grimly. “I’ll remember this when you come around to collect your guide fee.”
“Who needs it?” Abdul shrugged. “As of today, I’m out of the rent-a-guide business. I’m the agent to a Star.”
Max turned to von BOOM. “He is your agent?” he said incredulously.
“I gave him the job when we were lost out there on the desert,” the Professor replied. “As long as I was carrying him around on my back, anyway, I figured he might as well be my agent.”
“Don’t bother my Star with any more questions,” Abdul said to Max and 99. “He has to rehearse his line.”
Von BOOM wandered off.
This time, Max let von BOOM’s agent chase after him.
“Max, what are we going to do?” 99 fretted.
“We have no choice, 99,” Max replied. “I hate to be the one to destroy a career, but- Duty first. We have to get von BOOM back on the track. I’m going to snitch. I’m going to tell von Sydesheau that von BOOM is really a scientist.”
“Max, I’m not sure that will work. He found him out in the middle of the desert. Will he believe that he’s a scientist?”
“He found us out in the middle of the desert, too, 99, and he believed that we’re secret agents.”
“You’re right, Max.”
Max and 99 found von Sydesheau and informed him that, in fact, von BOOM was a scientist. Von Sydesheau threw back his head and roared with laughter.
“You don’t believe it?” Max said.
“As much as I believed that ridiculous story about you two being secret agents,” von Sydesheau replied. He winked at Max. “Spying on the sand, eh?”
Max and 99 retreated.
That night, when the camp was silent, Max and 99, by prearrangement, slipped out of their separate tents and met near the stern of the ship.
“So far, so good, 99,” Max whispered. “Everybody’s asleep, and, luckily, von Sydesheau didn’t think to post any guards.”
“It probably didn’t occur to him that we would try to kidnap his Star, Max.”
“I don’t know why not. That’s the way it would happen in a movie.” He motioned, then set out through the darkness, with 99 following close behind. “Von BOOM’s tent is just a short distance from here.”
“How will we know it, Max? In the dark, all these tents look alike.”
“There’ll be no mistaking it, 99. It-” he pointed. “There, shining in the moonlight. . see?”
“Oh. . yes. Isn’t that interesting. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. . a star on the flap.”
“All right, 99, from this moment on, let’s maintain absolute silence. If we create a commotion and rouse the camp, we may never get another chance to get von BOOM out of here.”
“Suppose he cries out, Max?”
“I’m going to gag him.”
“Please be gentle, Max. Remember, down deep, he’s on our side-he’s one of the Good Guys.”
“99, I don’t like doing this any more than you do. But our space program depends on it.”
“Max. . couldn’t we talk to him about it again? It wouldn’t hurt to try, would it?”
“Absolutely pointless, 99. We wouldn’t even know what he answered.”
“Why, Max?”
“Because he’ll be gagged. Now, come on, 99.”
Silently, they moved forward through the darkness. A few moments later they reached the entrance to von BOOM’s tent. Quietly, Max opened the flap. He crept into the tent, with 99 right behind him.
“Can you see him, Max?”
“Shhhh!”
Max moved on alone. A few seconds later, there was a sudden sound of scuffling, and a muffled outcry.
“Max-are you all right?”
“Not so loud, 99!”
“Sorry, Max. But are you all right? Do you have him?”
“Yes, 99-plus.”
“Plus what, Max?”
“Plus my left foot.”
“Max. . could you explain that?”
“First, 99, I gagged him, then I threw a blanket over him and gathered the blanket at the top to make a kind of sack out of it. But. . Well, after all, 99, I am working in the dark.”
“You have your foot in the bag?”
“If you want the whole story-my foot and my ankle.”
“Can’t you just take your foot out, Max?”
“To do that, 99, I’ll have to open the sack. And if I open the sack, he might escape. Frankly, 99, he isn’t too happy about this. He’s- Ouch! He’s twisting my ankle.”
“Wait, Max, I’ll try to help you. If I can just-”
There was a loud crash. Then silence again.
“Thank you, 99,” Max said. “That worked very well.”
“All I did, Max, was bump into something.”
“I know. But it helped. What ever you bumped into must have been fairly solid. It hit von BOOM. He’s unconscious-and I have my foot back.”
“Max! Is he hurt?”
“He’s fine. He has a good pulse and he’s breathing deeply and evenly. Now, for Heaven’s sake, let’s get out of here!”
Between them, Max and 99 lifted the sack. They left the tent, then the camp, and headed out into the desert.
“This is a snap,” Max said enthusiastically. “The weather is cool, the baggage is light, the moon is out, your daddy’s rich, and your mammy’s good-lookin’.”
“What, Max?”
“Sorry, 99-I got a little carried away.”
“But what about in the morning, Max, when the sun comes out, and the moon goes in? The weather will be hot, and the baggage will seem heavy.”
“What about daddy and mammy?”
“Max!”
“We’ll just have to rely on gumption and fortitude, 99. It will be tough, I know. But if we grit our teeth, keep our chins up high, and grin, nothing can stop us.”
“We have no water, Max.”
“We couldn’t drink it, anyway.”
“Why not, Max?”
“99, have you ever tried to drink while gritting your teeth, keeping your chin up, and grinning? It’s impossible.”
Through the rest of the night, they pushed on. By sunrise, they had left the camp far behind, out of sight. Gradually, the sun became hotter. Their pace slowed. Soon, they were scarcely able to drag themselves forward.
“Max. .” 99 gasped “. . couldn’t we put our burden down?”
“We can’t leave von BOOM here, 99. Not after carrying him all this distance.”
“Max. . I meant. . can’t he walk? Why do we have to carry him?”
“Oh. As a matter of fact, I was just going to suggest that.”
They lowered the sack to the sand, then Max opened it. From the blanket, Abdul Bim-Bam-Bom peered up at them.
“Talk about your mirages, 99,” Max said. “I’ll bet you can’t guess who the Professor looks like to me this morning.”
“Max! It isn’t von BOOM!” 99 wailed.
“I was afraid of that,” Max said glumly. He addressed Abdul Bim-Bam-Bom. “All right, fella, I think you owe us an explanation,” he said crossly. “What’s the idea of trying to pass yourself off as Professor von BOOM. You’ll never get away with it, you know. You don’t know a thing about rocket fuels.”
“Grgmpphblt!” Abdul replied.
“I think you better un-gag him, Max,” 99 said.
Max removed the gag.
“I’m an innocent bystander,” Abdul protested. “I was sound asleep when suddenly somebody gagged me and rolled me up in a blanket. I fought like a wildcat. I had him by the foot. But then I was hit by a truck.”
“Abdul, what were you doing in von BOOM’s tent?” 99 asked.
“That was my agent’s fee,” Abdul replied. “Instead of paying cash, he told me I could sleep one night in the Star’s tent. What a story to tell my grandchildren. Now, of course, it’s even a better story. There I was, sound asleep in the Star’s tent, when suddenly a gang of desert bandits fell upon me, gagged me, and rolled me up in a pure silk sheet stolen from the Shah’s palace. I fought like two-dozen wildcats. I had about nine of them by the leg-up to the kneecap. But then I was hit by a low-flying super-sonic jet. Well, I was stunned for a second. But I was a strong, healthy lad in those days-about six-foot-seven, enormous muscles-”
“Enough!” Max broke in.
“Don’t you want to hear the part where, when I was a boy, I had to walk a mile to school every day through twelve feet of snow?” Abdul said.
“What I want to hear is the part where you guide us back to the camp so we can make another try at kidnapping von BOOM,” Max replied.
Abdul looked around. “I’m your prisoner-I have no choice, I guess. Which way is it?”
“You’re the guide,” Max reminded him.
“I’m a talent agent,” Abdul reminded him. “No wonder you’re lost-you don’t even know a talent agent from a tourist guide.”
“Oh, Max. .” 99 wept. “What can we do?”
“Let’s wait for him to come to us,” Abdul suggested. “As soon as he finishes this picture, he’ll be looking for another job. And who will he come crying to on hands and knees? His agent.”
“That won’t be for six months,” Max said. “Without water, I don’t think we’ll make it.”
Abdul nodded, agreeing. “I don’t even think we could make it without ice cream sodas,” he said. “All we can do is hope for another sand storm.”
“How will that help?” 99 asked.
“Well, the last one brought us a ship,” Abdul replied. “If it can do it once, it can do it again.”
“I hardly think we can count on that,” Max said. “That’s the kind of luck that-”
“Max!” 99 suddenly cried. “Look! That dark cloud! Another sand storm!”
“99, that’s very nice, but it isn’t a sand storm we need. What we need is-”
“Max! Look! Sailing in front of the storm! The ship!”
Max squinted into the distance. “Yes. . and isn’t that. . there in the rigging. . isn’t that Professor von BOOM?”
From across the desert came a shout: “Thar She Blows!”
“He’s got his line down perfect,” Abdul cackled. “Is that a Star or is that a Star!”
“All right, get ready everybody,” Max said. “When the ship gets here, we’ll all grab a rope and climb aboard.”
“Not me,” Abdul said. “I stay here.”
“But you’ll die out here in the desert,” 99 said.
“Better than getting aboard a ship,” Abdul replied. “For you, it’s all right. But for me, it would be very dangerous. That ship has a hole in the bottom, you know.”
“What does that have to do with it?” 99 asked.
“I can’t swim,” Abdul explained.
“Now!” Max shouted.
The ship had reached them. Max and 99 ran alongside, then caught hold of ropes that were dangling down from the deck and, hand over hand, pulled themselves aboard. The wind whipped at them, swirling sand in their faces.
“Get below!” Max shouted to 99. “I’ll get von BOOM!”
“Max. . you don’t have to. . he’s coming down. .”
A few seconds later, von BOOM appeared, struggling against the wind to keep his balance. “I quit!” he shouted. “Get yourself another Moby Dick, von Sydesheau!”
“I’m Smart!” Max shouted back.
“I’m not as dumb as I used to be, either!” von BOOM shrieked. “You’ll never get me up in that rigging in a sand storm again!” He grabbed hold of Max, enraged. “ I could have been killed! I could have been blown overboard! And I can’t swim!”
“All right! All right!” Max shrieked back. “If it makes you happy-you’re fired!”
“Lucky I’ve got the scientist racket to fall back on,” von BOOM said.
Fighting the wind and sand, the three grappled their way along the deck, looking for a hatchway. When they finally found one, they climbed down into the hold, out of the storm.
Von BOOM was surprised to see Max and 99. “Somebody better go back on deck and get von Sydesheau,” he said.
Max explained that the director was not on board.
“Then that firing doesn’t count,” von BOOM groaned. “I’m still a Star.”
“When we get back to civilization, you can resign by telegram,” Max suggested.
“Forget it,” von BOOM shrugged. “Let him get the bad news from my agent.”
They made themselves comfortable in the hold. Outside, the storm raged. And it continued that way for several days. Fortunately, there was food and water on the ship. Max was concerned, however, about where the wind was blowing them.
“The way it’s blowing,” he said, “it could blow this ship right off the desert and into the ocean. We’d sink like a rock.”
The following morning when Max awakened it looked as if his worst fear had come true. There was nearly a foot of water in the hold, and it was rising rapidly.
He shook 99 and von BOOM. “Abandon ship!” he shouted. “We’re sinking like a rock!”
They rushed up onto the deck. The storm had passed. Most of the ship was resting on a beach, but its prow was protruding into a river.
“Max! We’re saved!” 99 squealed happily.
“We may be safe, 99, but we’re still lost.”
“No, Max-look! There comes help. A houseboat. And it’s coming this way.”
“Oh. . yes. Isn’t that a woman at the helm? It’s a little hard to tell.”
As the houseboat neared the ship, the skipper, a large, beefy woman in a captain’s uniform, waved to them. “Ho, there!” she bellowed. “Cap’n O’Patterer, Queen o’ the Nile, at yur service, mates!”
“Max! It’s the Nile!” 99 said. “We found it!”
“Dumb luck,” von BOOM muttered.
“Not exactly,” Max said testily. “Dumb modus operandi would be more like it.”