As he neared the Smithtown city limits, Tom was barraged with childhood memories. It had been nearly six years since he’d visited his hometown and he wondered how much of the small southern Ohio burg had changed. He didn’t expect much since the town of 20,000 always seemed to be standing still in the grand scheme of things. Smithtown had been under economical duress for as long as he could remember and suffered from the same ills as the other small towns in Appalachia: high unemployment rates, low wages, sub-par health care and an alarming rate of poverty. The few friends he knew of that still lived in the area were either doctors or drunks-there seemed to be little else in between.
He passed by the several gas stations that greeted him and continued south until he spotted a phone booth in a small strip mall. He pulled into the parking lot, went into the booth and began thumbing through the white pages.
He looked under the C’s and wasn’t particularly surprised to discover that there was no listing for a Mindy Conkel. There was an M. Conkel, however, so he dug into his pocket for his cell phone and keyed in the number. After a few rings, a man answered.
“Hello?”
“Uh, hi. I’m trying to locate a Mindy Conkel and was wondering if this was her number.”
“No Mindy here,” the man replied in a thick hillbilly drawl.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Do you by any chance know a Mindy Conkel?”
“Nope. Never heard of her.”
“Okay. Well thanks, anyway.”
“Uh-huh.”
Click.
Time for Plan Two, Tom thought. He thumbed through the pages until he reached the S’s and found a few Shortridges but no Donny nor any D. or M. Shortridges. This came as no surprise either, but it was at least worth a shot.
Plan Three was to track down his old friend, Alan Hughes, and see if he could help him locate Mindy. Although he had doubts that Alan knew her, he figured that his friend might at least give him some ideas of where to start looking. Smithtown was, after all, not a very big place.
He looked up Alan’s number and gave him a ring, only to get a recording that the number had been disconnected. No forwarding number was given so Tom snapped the phone shut in disappointment.
Already, he was losing faith in this whole insane idea. Besides the fact that he felt depressed every time he came to this miserable hellhole of a town, it was beginning to look like he might have driven all this way for nothing. He was so out of touch with everybody here that at the moment, he wasn’t sure what to do next. He tried thinking of anybody else he knew who might be able to help him locate Mindy but came up empty. Desperately, he picked up the telephone book and starting with the A’s, flipped through the names randomly, hoping to spot a name he recognized.
He’d gotten to the F’s when he noticed the name of the same bar where he had met Mindy all those years ago. He decided that Frankenstein’s Pub was as good a place as any to begin his search.
Hopping back into the Jeep, he proceeded south toward the downtown section of Smithtown. As he entered the business section, he couldn’t help but notice that most of the old stores he’d known as a child were shut down. In fact, the whole town seemed eerily ghost-like, save for the occasional pedestrian walking down the street.
He spotted Frankenstein’s and parked a few doors down. When he entered the place, Tom noticed that very little had changed over the years as he walked past the pool table toward the bar.
He sat down and waited for the bartender to come over, noting that there were only four persons other than himself in the whole place.
“Whatcha need?” a gruff looking man in his mid-sixties with greasy gray hair asked.
“Mick Ultra, please.”
The man turned and headed toward the cooler. Tom watched him pull out a longneck bottle, pop the top and return with it.
“Two fifty,” he said as he set the beer down on the weathered wood bar.
Tom pulled out three ones and slapped them down.
He took a long slug of the ice-cold lager, relishing the feel of it going down. He wasn’t much of a daytime drinker, but this beer was as welcome as it was required under the circumstances.
He fixed his eyes on the two guys playing pool, trying to determine if he recognized either of them. He had seen the tall one before, but had no idea what his name was. The other one drew a total blank.
There were a couple more men standing toward the back of the bar playing a video game. The bar was rather dark so it was hard to make out their faces. Tom got up and sauntered toward them.
As he drew closer to the pair, he realized that he knew one of them fairly well. It was one of the friends he used to hang out with when he was in high school. Brad Thompson looked almost the same as he did nearly twenty years ago except for the fifty or sixty pounds he had tacked on since then. Tom hadn’t seen him since graduation.
Brad glanced over and recognized Tom before he could open his mouth.
“Jesus Christ, if it isn’t Tom Grayson! How the hell are ya?” Brad said, extending his hand.
Tom shook and said, “Great! How have you been, Brad?”
“Can’t complain-still stuck in this shit hole trying to make a livin.’”
The other man finished his game and turned around.
“Tom, this is my cousin, Lenny. He’s visitin’ from KY.” He said to Lenny, “Tom is an old high school friend I haven’t seen in over twenty years.”
Tom shook the man’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Lenny.”
“So where are you livin’ now, Tom? Last I heard, you’d moved to New York City. You still there?”
“Not anymore. I moved to Columbus a while back. Got married and have a couple of kids, in fact.”
“Hey, that’s great! So what are ya doing up there?”
“Teach at Capital State.”
“Don’t tell me-some kind of art course, right? You always were the artistic type.”
“Yeah. Art history.”
“I knew it! So what the hell brings you down here?”
Tom wasn’t sure how to answer that at the moment. “Well, I’m sort of looking for somebody I haven’t seen in a while.”
Brad looked at him suspiciously. “Not some old girlfriend, I hope. Your old lady wouldn’t be too happy with you if that’s the case!”
Tom realized that Brad was trying to be funny-if he only knew that he was on the right track.
“No, just an old friend of mine. You don’t know Mindy Conkel, do you?”
“Hmm. Mindy Conkel. Charlie Gossett’s old lady was named Mindy, but I’m not sure what her maiden name was. Do you remember Charlie?”
Tom tried to hide his shock. Charlie Gossett was a hillbilly redneck that was always getting into bar fights.
And if he had to think of someone who reminded him of Charlie Gossett, it would be a certain character that didn’t exist in real life Donnie Shortridge: the stuff that bad dreams were made of.
Tom recovered enough to say, “Yeah, I remember Charlie. He was one of the scariest guys in high school. Always carried a knife looking for trouble.”
Brad nodded. “Yep, that was Charlie all right. He finally got sent up the creek quite a while back. Beat up his wife so bad that he nearly killed her. Like I said, her name was Mindy. Never knew the chick before she married Charlie, though.”
Holy hell! Tom thought. This can’t really be happening!
“What did this Mindy look like?” Tom inquired.
“Well, I only saw her a couple of times. She used to come here every now and then without Charlie. No one would ever go near her though because they knew that Charlie was the jealous type and would probably murder anyone who tried to pick her up. Anyway, she was a freakin’ beauty, no doubt about that. Really blonde hair, kinda tall with great tits. Had one hell of an ass, too.”
That had to be Mindy Conkel, Tom thought. He couldn’t have described her better himself.
“You don’t happen to know where she lives now, do you? She sounds like the same girl I’m looking for.”
Brad Thompson shook his head. “Nope. I haven’t seen her in a few years. She may have left town after Charlie got sent to prison.”
“Hmm, maybe you’re right. Oh well, it’s not the end of the world if I don’t find her. She used to have an uncle that owned a home improvement business somewhere near Columbus and I was trying to find out how to reach him. He supposedly does great work for reasonable rates but I can’t remember his name or the name of his business to save my life. We want to add a family room to our house.”
Tom knew this fabricated story sounded lame, but Brad didn’t catch on to it.
“Sorry I can’t help you more. Hey, you want to play some cutthroat?”
“Nah, I’d better get going. I’ve got to get back to Columbus before the wife reams me a new one.”
“I hear ya! I heard there’s supposed to be a big snowstorm coming sometime this evening. You sure as hell don’t want to get stuck in that.”
“For sure,” Tom replied. He killed the last of his Ultra and offered his hand to Brad.
“Hey, take care of yourself, man. It was great seeing you again.”
“You, too. Give me a call next time you’re in town and we’ll tie on a good one.”
“Will do. Nice meeting you, Lenny. See you around.”
Tom headed for the door, dropping his beer bottle off at the bar on the way. He noticed that the wind was picking up as he stepped outside, reminding him of what Brad had said about an approaching winter storm. He checked his watch: half past noon. He still had an hour or so before he should start heading back home.
Back in his Jeep, Tom was still reeling from what Brad Thompson had told him about Mindy and Charlie Gossett. He was absolutely numbed by the eerie coincidence. Not only had Mindy married a redneck hillbilly just like the fictitious Donnie Shortridge in his dream, her husband had ended up being a wife-beater and sent to prison for assault to boot!
What in the hell was that all about?
He hadn’t been prepared for this. Although his dream had had a certain ominous quality to it, he never expected to see a direct connection between what had happened in the dream and reality. The girl named Erin in the dream had nothing whatsoever to do with the Erin in the real world-he had simply assigned Erin Landry’s face to a fabricated character named Erin Myers, a by-product of his poison fume-fueled imagination.
But now, the more he thought about Mindy Conkel and her real life crazy, violent husband, or ex-husband, the more nervous he got.
Would he be better off leaving well enough alone? Get out of Dodge City before he got himself into REAL trouble?
Tom now wished that he hadn’t drank that beer. Because he wouldn’t mind having a few more right this moment.
He pulled up to the traffic light on the corner of Second Street and waited for it to turn green, staring across the street at the bridge crossing the Ohio River into Kentucky. Something about all of this crazy shit had some kind of hold on him. That much he knew. And he would never know what it was if he backed down now.
The light changed and Tom hung a right. Two blocks later he spotted a convenience store and pulled into the parking lot. He got out and entered the store, glancing around for a pay phone. He spotted one near the coffee machine and headed for it. He picked up the phone book and shuffled through the pages.
He found the G’s and looked for any listing that could be Mindy’s. There was only one Gossett listed: a Floyd Gossett with a West Smithtown exchange. His only hope now was that Floyd was a relative of Charlie’s and willing to tell him where Charlie’s estranged wife lived.
He was hoping for a miracle, he realized.
The store employee was staring at him so Tom decided to use the pay phone to call Floyd instead of pulling out his cell phone. He found a quarter in his pocket, dropped it in the slot and dialed the number.
Six rings later, a thin raspy voice said, “Yellow.”
“Is this the Gossett residence?”
“Uh huh.”
“Hi, I’m trying to locate Mindy Gossett and was wondering if you by any chance know her whereabouts,” Tom said, crossing his fingers.
“What’s that you say?” the man said, apparently hard of hearing.
Tom upped the volume to his voice. “I said I’m looking for Mindy Gossett and wondered if you might know how I can reach her.”
“Mindy, you say? Now what would you be a-wantin’ with her?”
“I would just like to talk to her about something. Do you know how I could contact her?”
“Who is this?” the man asked suspiciously. “This ain’t one of Charlie’s friends, is it?”
“No, sir. I’m an old friend of Mindy’s. I haven’t seen her in a long time and would like to talk to her if I may.”
“And what would be your name?”
“Tom. Tom Grayson.”
“Well Tim, I’m not so sure that’s such a good idea. You see, I don’t want nobody botherin’ that poor gal and since I don’t know you from the man in the moon, I’m not gonna give you no help. That goddamn son of mine has done screwed up her life already and I ain’t gonna let another Gossett screw her over again.”
Jesus, Tom thought, it was Charlie’s father! And he had just given him his name like an idiot-Charlie will probably want to kill him when he gets out of prison!
Or maybe not. Charlie’s father didn’t exactly sound like he was particularly pleased with his son-in fact, quite the contrary.
“Mr. Gossett, I can assure you that I mean no harm to Mindy. If it would make you feel any better, maybe you could let her know I was looking for her and ask her if she would be opposed to meeting with me. Then, if it’s all right with her, I could call you back and you could tell me how to find her.”
There was a moment of silence before the man spoke again.
“I reckon that would be okay, long as it’s okay with the girl. I’ll give her a call and tell her you’re wantin’ to talk to her. What was that name again? Tim Anderson?”
“No, Tom Grayson.”
“Okay, I’ll pass that on to her.”
“When should I call you back?”
“Give me ten minutes, son.”
“Thanks, Mr. Gossett. I’ll call you back then.”
Tom was ecstatic as he hung up the phone. He had finally found her!
He went over to one of the coolers and took out a bottle of Ice Mountain, paid for it and left the store. After he was back in the Jeep, he realized that he’d forgotten Gossett’s telephone number. He grabbed a pencil and paper from the dash compartment, ran back into the store, located the number in the phone book and jotted it down. As he returned to the Jeep, he hoped that Mr. Gossett got his name right when he spoke to Mindy and that she would be willing to see him, or at least allow him to talk to her.
Screwing off the cap, Tom took a huge gulp of cold water and looked out ahead, noticing that it was clouding up. He started thinking about Peg and how she would react if she knew that he was in Smithtown hunting down some chick from his past instead of at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland with Frank.
He felt faint as he realized just how absurd this whole situation had gotten and how much deeper he was getting into it by the minute. What was driving him to do all of this, running around like a madman trying to make sense of something that seemed so utterly senseless? Was it worth the risks he was taking with his marriage and his family, the most important things in his life?
The cell phone rang and simultaneously danced around like a hooked catfish on the Jeep’s console, causing him to spill his water on his lap. He picked it up and read the caller ID It was Peg!
In a panic, he debated whether or not to take the call. At first he wasn’t going to-Peg would just assume that he didn’t hear the phone or had forgotten to turn it on. Then he changed his mind. What if something bad had happened?
He took a deep breath and flipped the phone open.
“Hello, babe,” he said, trying to sound as normal as he could.
“Tom, I’m so glad I reached you! You’ll never guess in a million years who just blew into town!” she said excitedly.
He breathed a silent sigh and wondered who it could be. “Who?”
“Maggie! Can you believe it?”
Maggie Tolman was Peg’s best friend who had moved to Colorado a few years ago. The two were as close as two friends could be. “That’s great, Peg. How long will she be in town?”
“Not very long, I’m afraid. She has a two-hour stopover in Columbus on her way to New York-apparently her flight is all messed up. Anyway, I’m going to drive out to the airport and have lunch with her.”
“Sounds like fun. Be sure to tell her I said hi,” Tom said.
“I will. How’s the museum?”
Tom thought he took too long to answer. “Great! Lots of cool stuff here.”
“And are you and Frank behaving yourselves?”
“Of course.”
“Well, you may want to consider coming back soon. They’re forecasting another snowstorm heading our way.”
Peg’s voice was starting to cut out. Tom looked at the signal strength indicator on his cell: two bars. His battery strength was down to a single bar, and it dawned on him that he’d forgotten to charge the thing before heading out of the house.
“I’m sorry, dear. What did you say about a storm?”
“It’s going to snow again. They’re predicting three to four inches by late evening.”
Shit, he thought, he was going to have to get a move on with this and get back on the road ASAP.
“That’s not good news at all,” he said. “We’ll probably head back in an hour or so.”
“Okay. Well, be careful on the highway. I should be home when you get here.”
“I’ll see you then, Peg. And have a nice time with Maggie.”
“See you later.”
Tom disconnected and continued staring out the windshield. He noticed that the wind was really picking up and dark gray clouds were blowing in from the west. He glanced at the phone in his hand, wondering if it had been ten minutes yet. Deciding it had been long enough, he tapped in Floyd Gossett’s number.
“Hi, Mr. Gossett, it’s Tom Grayson again. Were you able to reach Mindy?”
“Yep, sure did.”
“What did she say?”
“Well, can’t say as she was real thrilled with the idear of meeting up with you. In fact, she didn’t seem to know who you were when I mentioned yer name. But then I repeated it for her and a light bulb lit up, I reckon.”
“Will she let me see her?” Tom asked, wondering how much Floyd Gossett had butchered his name before Mindy finally realized who he was talking about.
“I reckon she’s okay with it. She told me to give you her phone number so you could call her.”
“That’s great-what is it, Mr. Gossett?”
He read the number to Tom, who in turn punched it into his cell.
“I can’t thank you enough, Mr. Gossett,” Tom said sincerely.
“No problem, boy. Just don’t let me hear that you’ve done anything wrong by Mindy or I’ll personally see that you regret it!” the old man growled.
“Oh, don’t worry about that-I just want a few words with her.”
“All right then. I reckon I’ll be going now.”
“Thanks again, Mr. Gossett.”
“Uh-huh.”
Click.
Tom stared at the number Floyd Gossett had given him and realized that the exchange was the one used for the west side-way out in the boonies. He took a deep breath and a swig of water then pushed the “send” button.
Mindy Conkel answered after two rings.
“Hello.”
“Hi, is this Mindy?” Tom asked, trying to sound as relaxed as he could despite the fact that the last time he’d talked to this woman was nearly twenty years ago and his nerves were frayed.
“Yes, and who might this be?”
“It’s Tom Grayson. Long time no see, eh?”
“I don’t believe it! When my ex-father-in-law called and told me you were trying to find me, I about flipped out. So what have you been up to?”
Tom was both surprised and pleased that she seemed so receptive. This was a good thing.
“Oh, where do I begin? I lived in New York for a few years then moved to Columbus. I’m teaching art history at Capital State, married with a wife and two kids and that’s basically it in a nutshell. What about yourself?”
“My life hasn’t been quite as exciting or glamorous as yours, I’m afraid. Just doing hair at a salon and living in this crappy town. That’s really about it.”
“C’mon, there’s got to be more than that! You make it sound like this is the most boring place on earth!
“And you would disagree?”
Tom chuckled. “You got me there, I have to admit. Anyway, I was wondering if we could get together for a drink or something. I know it sounds sort of weird and on short notice but it’s really important.”
“Sure. But I can’t leave home-my kids are here and I can’t trust them by themselves. Why don’t you just come out to my home?”
“Great!” Tom said. “How do I get there?”
“Just take Route 52 west until you’re almost to the Adams County line then take a right on Slow Possum Hollow. I’m about three miles from the highway in a white mobile home. You can’t miss it.”
“That sounds easy enough. Is it okay if I come now? There’s supposed to be a storm blowing in and I have to get back to Columbus soon.”
“Sure. I’m not doing anything but the laundry.”
“Great. I’ll see you soon.”
“See you, Tom.”
Tom was thrilled-it had almost been too easy. He was surprised that Mindy would be so willing to see him after all these years. Especially after what had happened so long ago.
He closed the phone and started the engine. He was already headed in the direction of the west side so he pulled out and proceeded along Second Street until he reached the bridge crossing the Scioto River. Glancing at the dashboard clock, he estimated that he would reach the Adams County line in about thirty minutes. That would make it around 2:40. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to stay long to get his answers. That storm wasn’t going to hold out forever.
As he drove, Tom flashed back to Mindy Conkel and his one- night stand with her twenty years ago. She would have been around twenty or so at the time, making her about forty now. He wondered how much she had aged since then. She would probably be overweight with an outrageously outdated hairstyle, he thought, like the majority of the women around this hillbilly town. There was a unique quality of Smithtown that set it apart from any place he’d ever seen: the place was in an eternal time warp. Whatever was happening in the rest of the country would be about ten years ahead of where Smithtown was at that time, socially and politically. It was as though the little river town was an eternal time capsule, reflecting the way the world had been ten years past.
Tom spotted the first flurry about ten miles from the Adams County line. In another five minutes, it began spitting snow. He checked the clock nervously, realizing that this would indeed have to be a brief encounter with Mindy Conkel Gossett. Not only did he want to avoid driving in a snowstorm, he didn’t want Peg to be calling him endlessly, worrying about his making it home safely.
He sped up to sixty-five, hoping the highway patrol hadn’t set any speed traps up ahead. In another few minutes, he spotted the sign for Slow Possum Road as he whizzed by the tiny two-lane road. Cursing, he continued until he reached the first driveway he could find, pulled into it, backed out and backtracked to Slow Possum.
The road was incredibly rough-a mixture of dirt, gravel and decaying asphalt. Dodging crater-sized potholes, he carefully negotiated the winding road that ran parallel to a swift running creek. He realized that he was actually in Shawnee State Forest when he spotted one of the familiar wooden marker signs along the way, indicating a specific trail. He passed a two-room shack that blatantly reminded him that he was on the fringe of Appalachia, where the ugliness of poverty still prevailed amidst the enchanting beauty of the forest.
Just as he was about to glance at his odometer, he spotted a white mobile home on his right. It was at the end of a dirt road that forked off then ran over a small, ramshackle bridge before dead-ending ten yards to the east of the trailer.
Tom pulled onto the road and held his breath as he crossed over the bridge. He could feel the thing sway sickeningly from side to side as the Jeep deposited its full weight upon its fragile rotting boards. On the other side, he saw a ten-year-old blue Honda Civic parked around the back of the trailer and pulled up beside it.
Tom got out and strode toward the small covered patio, aware of a face peering through one of the windows. It was a young boy, about eight or nine, with longish blonde, unkempt hair. Tom had just stepped onto the patio when the inside door opened. The boy stared at him from behind the door curiously, making no effort to open the storm door. Tom smiled at the boy, who suddenly turned around to look behind him. He heard Mindy say, “Let the man in, Jason, for crying out loud!”
The boy grasped the handle and opened the door about a foot. Tom stood there awkwardly, not sure whether to go on in or not.
“Come on in, Tom. My son doesn’t seem to understand English.”
Jason turned and ran away as Tom took hold of the door. He stepped inside, noticing the beige shag carpet and smell of laundry detergent at the same time.
“I’m loading the drier, Tom. Make yourself comfortable and I’ll be there in a minute,” he heard Mindy holler from a room to his right.
“Okay,” Tom replied. He headed across the living room to a sofa and sat down.
The mobile home seemed twice as large as it looked from the outside. The living room was good sized with a couple of vinyl upholstered chairs, a coffee table, an end table and a big flat screen television set. To his left was a spacious kitchen, spotlessly clean and equipped with slightly dated appliances.
He noticed several framed photos hanging on the wall above the television, stood up and went over to examine them. There was one small black and white picture of an elderly couple, perhaps Mindy’s grandparents, hanging beside a much larger framed family photo. Tom drew closer and saw Mindy and a middle-aged man standing directly behind two children sitting in matching chairs: Jason and a girl who apparently was Jason’s older sister of around twelve or thirteen. Mindy herself looked damn good-much better than Tom would ever have guessed. The man standing beside her seemed camera shy and awkward, forcing himself to smile as if he would be elbowed if he didn’t.
Mindy’s father? Tom wondered.
He looked at the remaining pair of photographs on the wall, which were both 8x10 portraits of the two children.
There were no other photos on the wall.
Tom looked around, anxiously hoping to spot a photo of an older child somewhere-an older son or daughter who would be around nineteen by now…
He saw no more family photos.
Mindy suddenly entered the room. Tom was barely able to repress a gasp when he saw her. She looked even better than she did in the photo. She wore tight jeans and a white oversized oxford shirt, unbuttoned a third of the way down from the top. Her hair was tied in a rather loose ponytail, long strands of blonde falling randomly onto her shoulders. Her eyes were large and blue, her skin radiant with just enough age lines to complement her mature good looks. And her full lips were just as pouty and sensuous as they had been on that fateful night.
Mindy was still in fact, a frigging knockout “Hi, Tom,” she smiled, approaching him and throwing her arms around him.
Tom felt her soft, firm breasts press against his chest as he held her close.
“Hi, Mindy.”
They held each other a bit longer than necessary, and Tom felt himself actually regret letting go of her. She stood back and looked him over from head to toe.
“You look damn good, Tom. In fact, you look about the same as you did twenty years ago!”
“Right,” he replied. “Except for this large growth above my belt, which seems to have taken on a life of its own. You look absolutely awesome, Mindy. And I must say, even better than you did twenty years ago!”
She smiled warmly. “Why thanks, Tom. I haven’t been complimented like that in a long time.”
“You’ve got to be kidding!” Tom said in genuine disbelief.
“I shit you not. Anyway, have a seat. Would you like something to drink? Coffee, a beer?”
“Coffee would be great if you have some handy.”
“I just brewed a fresh pot a few minutes ago. How do you take it?”
“Black.”
“I’ll be back in a flash.”
Tom stared at her beautiful ass as Mindy made her way over to the kitchen. He was mesmerized by her looks and wondered why he hadn’t taken this girl a little more seriously all those years ago. Then he recalled the fact that Mindy Conkel really hadn’t been his type. At least not personality-wise. She was much too extraverted if not downright slutty for him to have considered any kind of lasting relationship with her. Yes, she had been drunk and no doubt more forward than usual, but her drink-fueled behavior and blind lust had left Tom feeling zero emotional attachment and little respect for her after that crazy night.
Mindy Conkel had been just what he needed and nothing more: an easy one-night stand.
She returned to the living room, set a mug of steaming coffee on the coffee table in front of him then sat down on the sofa. She leaned back against the arm of the sofa and swung her long legs up, encircling them with an arm at the knees. After taking a sip of coffee, she motioned toward the rear of the mobile home and cast him a conspiratorial smile.
“My son is incredibly shy around strangers. That’s why he hesitated to let you in. He’ll make the scene though soon enough and you then you can meet him properly. He’s as curious as he is shy and literally can’t stand still for over five minutes at a time.”
“I see. He’s a good-looking boy,” Tom said. “Looks a lot like his mother.”
“Thanks. Some people think he looks more like Charlie. I think he looks a bit like us both.”
“I noticed a girl in the picture over there. Your daughter, I presume?”
“Yeah, that’s Josie. She’ll be showing up pretty soon, actually. She’s been over at a friends but just called to say that she was getting ready to head home.”
“What grade are your kids in?”
“Jason’s in fourth; Josie’s in seventh.”
“Well they sure seem to be nice kids,” Tom said, not sure what else to say.
“Thanks, they are. How old are your kids?”
“My girl, Kelli, is seven and Tyler is five.”
“That’s great-isn’t having children a wonderful gift?” she said, eying him oddly.
“Yes, it is.” Tom paused a moment then said, “Um, I’ve been wondering, Mindy, what ever happened to-“
“Our baby?” she interjected.
Tom’s heart skipped a beat as he stared at Mindy, trying hard to read what she was thinking behind those blue eyes. He detected a note of sadness-or was it remorse? He wasn’t sure. All he knew was that in a moment he was going to discover the fate of his child. The one he had forsaken so long ago.
Mindy looked away a moment, then turned back and gazed at him intently.
“I had an abortion,” she declared flatly.
Tom was stunned. She may as well have slapped his face.
The child in his dream, his Erin, had never existed. She had never even had a chance…
“You mean, you never had the baby?” he asked lamely.
“Yes, Tom. That’s exactly what I mean.”
“But why not?”
She stared at him reproachfully and Tom realized how stupid his question must have sounded to her.
“You have to be kidding, right, Tom? It’s not like you made any indication that you wanted me to keep the child back then. In fact, if I remember correctly, you didn’t even give it a second thought.”
She was right, of course. He had blown off the matter like batting away an annoying fly. But he had never considered for a moment that she would abort the child. In fact he had Tom looked away from Mindy, trying his damnedest not to let his emotions show. The cold, hard truth reared its ugly head: he had in fact not given any of this any thought back then! He had simply told Mindy to go away and not to bother him with it, not considering the possible consequences for even a moment of his precious time.
Could he really blame her for not having the child?
“I’m sorry, Mindy. I understand why you did what you did. I was a total asshole about it. I just wish that-”
“That I would have told you I was having an abortion? And what good do you suppose that would have done?”
She had taken the words right out of his mouth. And again, she was dead right. Had Mindy called back to tell him that she was going to have an abortion, he would have simply told her it was fine with him, to go ahead and do it. He may have actually had the decency to offer to pay for it. But he would not have wanted her to have the child-that much he knew. He had been much too busy with his life in the Big Apple to even give that the slightest consideration.
But still… Didn’t he at least have some say in the matter? She could have at least given him the option to oppose the abortion, for chrissakes! After all, it had taken both of them to make the baby.
“I think you should have called me first, at least,” he finally said.
“Why? So you could tell me that I had your permission to murder our child? Because you know as well as I do that you would not have wanted to be a father to that baby. Nor would you have offered to help pay any of the expenses in raising it. C’mon Tom, admit it!”
Tom lowered his head and replied, “You’re probably right.”
He looked into her eyes again. He saw a single tear stream down her cheek and drop off of her chin. He scooted over on the sofa and put his arms around her. He held her close.
“God Mindy, I’m so sorry. I was such a jerk back then. It’s just that I didn’t want to believe I had gotten you pregnant in the first place. I mean, look at the odds! We’d only been together that one night and surely you were-”
She pushed him away. “Screwing other guys? Is that what you were going to say, Tom?”
Tom felt as low as he could go.
“Screw you, Tom! Just for your information, you were the first guy I had gone to bed with in over six months! That is how far off you were in your brilliant deduction of the situation. Granted, I was drunk and aggressive that night in the bar-it’s not like I don’t like to go out and have a good time once in a while-but that doesn’t make me a slut. Which is apparently what you thought I was.”
Her words stung. And as he considered the intensity with which she argued her case, he knew that it was all probably true. He had unfairly misjudged this girl-big time.
And had he known then what he knew now…
“All I can say is that I’m sorry, Mindy. I obviously was wrong about a lot of things back then.”
“Listen, Tom. You have no idea how many times I’ve thought back to the day I had the abortion. I think of how my life could have been different if I wouldn’t have done it. Had I kept the child, maybe I would never have made the mistake of hooking up with Charlie. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and have no regrets whatsoever about the beautiful children Charlie and I made together. But that man has ruined my life. He abused me in ways I can’t even begin to explain. I’m afraid of him every time I get up in the morning- terrified that he is going to get out of prison and murder me and the children. The man is a maniac! And he is going to get out of prison one of these days-he only got five years. And then he’s going to find me and kill all of us. I just know it!”
Tom winced. It now hit home just how much his actions twenty years ago had changed this woman’s entire life. He felt weak and sick to his stomach.
What a selfish prick he’d been!
He was momentarily speechless. He wanted nothing more than to explain to Mindy that he had changed since then, and if he had it all to do again, he would never have left her in the lurch like that. He would have offered to support the child and do the responsible thing…
But all of this would just sound like so much drivel to Mindy Conkel Gossett. Even if she believed him, which he doubted she would, what difference would it make? What had happened had happened-there was no turning back the hands of time.
“I’m so sorry, Mindy,” he said again.
“It’s okay, Tom. I’ve long since learned how to live with it and get on with my life. We were both young and foolish back then and I probably got what I deserved. The Lord saw to it that I paid for my mistakes.”
Tom wanted to protest, but didn’t. At that moment, he wanted to take Mindy in his arms and apologize a hundred times over for ruining her life. And tell her that he didn’t deserve her forgiveness, for what he had done simply wasn’t forgivable. And that she was wrong in thinking that she deserved the miserable life she had been living thanks to Charlie Gossett.
In fact, he wanted to tell her that if anyone deserved to be punished for all of this, it would be his own lame ass…
But Tom kept these thoughts and words to himself. Instead, he decided that he would simply thank Mindy for seeing him on such short notice, wish her well, then get back on road before the storm hit.
And that is just what he did.