“ We’re in trouble,” Arty said, as Brad and two other kids approached. His voice moved up an octave when he talked and Carolina could tell he was frightened. It wasn’t fair that Brad could bully nice kids like Arty just because he was bigger.
Bullies were the lowest of the low, lower than the stuff that grows under you toes. She wished she was a boy, then she’d give Brad something to think about.
“ Brad and the Shadows,” Carolina said. Ray Harpine scowled, making both his eyebrows and lips look thinner than they were. Steve Kerr scrunched up the left side of his face so much she couldn’t see the color of his left eye. Carolina knew Ray and Steve hated being called Brad’s shadows.
“ Shit,” Arty said under his breath, and Carolina saw his lower lip start quivering. She shivered a little herself, but it was cold and she wasn’t wearing a sweater.
“ Hey, did I hear you right, Farty Arty. Did you say shit?” Brad tucked his hands into his Levi pockets and thrust his pelvis forward. His thing was outlined by the Levi’s and she wondered how he’d like it if she gave him a swift kick where it would really hurt.
“ Maybe there’s hope for the mama’s boy yet.” Steve put his hands in his pockets, imitating his leader. It wasn’t for nothing that Ray and Steve were called what they were. Carolina wondered if Steve even knew how to think for himself. Ray was smart and if Brad wasn’t around he could be kind of nice. He could make other friends if he wanted. She couldn’t understand why he hung around with Brad.
Brad hawked a big one and let the lugey fly. Carolina watched the gob of snot as it sailed through the air, milky white and snotty green. A great clump of sticky, slimy nose shit, sliding upward, like a tiny comet. The wind caught it as it reached the top of its arc and headed back toward earth, changing its path, ever so slightly.
It landed on Arty’s tennis shoes. What were the odds? It was impossible to tell if Brad had done it on purpose. There was a lot of room for doubt. Nobody could be that good.
“ Good one, Brad,” Ray said.
Brad beamed, but it rang false to Carolina. Brad had just spit. It was dumb luck that it landed on Arty’s shoe.
“ Shit, Brad, why’d you have to go and do that?” Steve sounded like a jerk to Carolina. “Now, poor Arty’s nice white shoes got slimy snot all over ’em.”
“ I’m sorry, Arty, I wasn’t lookin’ where I was aimin’.” Brad’s face was covered in a rare smile.
“ It’s okay, Brad. I know you didn’t mean it.” Arty said. Carolina could tell he just wanted them to go away.
She started to speak up, but held her tongue. Her father had always told her to mind her own business and not to get involved. He believed that nice guys always finished last and that do gooders were as bad as Bible thumpers, always sticking their noses where they didn’t belong. But it was hard, because she kind of liked Arty.
“ Come on Carolina, let’s go.” Arty attempted to lead her around the three bullies.
“ Not so fast.” Brad ran his hand through his hair. He wore it long on the sides and tapered into a ducktail in the back, like the bikers in the fifties movies. “I want to talk to your girlfriend about the test.”
“ Are you mad because I flunked it?” Carolina said.
“ Yeah, I am.”
“ You’re not half as mad as my dad’s going to be. He’ll beat the shit out of me for sure. He always does when I don’t do good.” She told the lie with a little shiver for effect.
Brad’s scowl lit up. He flexed the muscles in his arms and rolled his shoulders. He was wearing a white tee shirt that fit close to his chest. There wasn’t any fat on his large frame. He was as big as any kid in junior high school.
“ Good, ’cuz you deserve a lickin’.” Brad laughed. His shadows picked up on his mood and laughed with him.
They couldn’t know she was lying. Her father wasn’t at home. She didn’t know where he was. But she had always been sharp. Her father had always said so. She was always able to say the right thing, and somehow she knew if Brad thought she was going to get a licking for failing the test, he’d let them by. He was that kind of boy, so lying to him to get themselves out of trouble didn’t seem wrong at all.
“ We gotta go.” Arty grit his teeth and took Carolina by the hand.
“ Step aside, boys,” Brad said, “Carolina’s got a date with Daddy and we wouldn’t wanna hold her up.” The three boys moved out of the way, laughing, and Carolina and Arty moved on down the sidewalk.
She glanced over at Arty as he led her away. He was turning red and she couldn’t tell if it was because of Brad or if he was embarrassed to be holding her hand. Part of her wanted to let go, but another part of her liked it. She didn’t know what to do.
They stepped off the curb to cross Fremont Avenue, when a car coming around the corner solved the problem for her. They jumped back and by the time they were up on the sidewalk, they were no longer holding hands.
“ Here’s where I turn off,” she said, when they got to the corner of Lark Lane.
“ Okay.” He turned a slight shade of pink.
“ You might think I got them all wrong, but Miss Sadler made me stay after, remember?”
“ Yeah.”
“ She said she knew I flunked on purpose, because Brad was copying. She gave me another test. An oral one.”
“ And?”
“ And I got them all right. She gave me a hundred percent. You know what that means?”
“ I gotta carry your books every day for a year.”
“ You betcha. I leave home every morning at twenty to nine. I’ll expect to see you right here at nineteen till.” She flashed him with a quick smile and she was amazed at the size of the smile he gave her back.
When she got home she made herself a cheese and tomato sandwich. She didn’t eat meat, because she loved animals and it seemed wrong to eat them. All the other kids thought she was nuts. She had some milk and cookies when she finished. She didn’t mind milk, because animals didn’t have to die to make it.
With her hunger satisfied, she strolled out into the living room and lay down on the couch. She was only going to close her eyes for a second or two, but it was dark when she woke up to the sounds of Mick and his street fighting band.
She wanted to ask her mother if she’d sold any more paintings, but she was listening to the Rolling Stones in her bedroom and she knew how happy she was when she was laying down and listening to Mick sing his rocking blues.
Sticky Fingers was her mother’s favorite CD and it was playing loud. Not loud enough to bother the neighbors, but loud enough that Carolina couldn’t turn on the TV. But it didn’t matter, Carolina was glad. Just hearing the music meant that maybe her mother was getting over the blue funk she’d been in about how poorly her last show had gone.
When the CD was over, Carolina half expected her mother to put on Sympathy for the Devil, because that’s what she usually did after she played Sticky Fingers, but instead she came out of her room wearing a shocking pink dress. It was new. “How do you like it?” she asked, spinning around so Carolina could get the full effect.
“ It’s nice,” she said, not meaning it. She hated the dress and what it represented. Then she said, “Do you have to go out tonight?” She hated it when her mom went out on dates and left her home alone. She hated all her mother’s new friends. The men and the women, but mostly the men. She wished her father would come back. She wanted it to be like it used to be, her father home right after work, with a kiss and hug for her, her mother with dinner on the table, her father playing with her after dinner, television with mom and dad, her mother tucking her in and telling her a bedtime story as she drifted off to sleep. Now all that was gone.
“ Yes, I do. I’m going to dinner with a nice man. It hasn’t been so easy on me since your father left, you know.” She pouted and fixed Carolina with a soulful stare. She looked like she might cry, and she would have fooled anyone else, but not Carolina. She was a fine actress. She should be in the movies, Carolina thought.
“ It hasn’t been easy on me either. And what if I hear things, I mean noises, in the house, like I did last night?”
“ Carolina, I told you that’s all in your imagination.” The phony sadness was gone now. “There are no things and no noises in this house at night, and I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t bring it up again.”
“ Yes, Mother.” Now it was Carolina’s turn to put on a phony pout.
“ And don’t, Yes Mother, me. You know I don’t like that.”
“ Okay, Mom.”
“ That’s better.” Her mother flounced down on the love seat and looked at her watch.
“ Will you be back early?” Carolina asked.
“ I’ll be back when I’m back. You’ll be fine. Just keep the doors locked and don’t let anyone in.”
“ Okay, Mom,” Carolina said with obvious resignation. She didn’t get time to say anything else, because she was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.
Her mother popped off the couch and almost skipped toward Carolina, kissing her on the forehead. “You be good now. I’ll try not to be too late.” Then she went out the front door and into the night. Carolina wasn’t even curious enough to peek through the curtain to see what the man looked like.
She put her hands down on the seat and pushed herself off the couch. She had to pee. She was halfway to the bathroom when she heard the scratching noise. She stopped, smiled, reversed herself and headed toward her bedroom. This was a friendly scratching noise. Mom was gone and it was time to feed Sheila.
“ Okay, girl, I’m coming.” She went into her bedroom, opened her bottom dresser drawer and laughed as the white ferret jumped out and scurried up onto her shoulder. It nuzzled her ear. “You always know when Mom’s not home, don’t you?” The animal’s body wiggled its yes answer.
Carolina opened the top drawer and pulled her underwear and tee shirts aside to get at the dried cat food underneath. Having a secret pet was fun, but soon she was going to have to tell her mother, because soon she was going to be out of food and she would need some money to get more. Money she didn’t have, her allowance didn’t go far enough.
She opened one of the small packages with her teeth and laid out the contents on the corner of her dresser and giggled as the ferret leapt off her shoulder onto the dresser top and started to eat.
“ Hungry, huh? Okay, you eat and I’ll go and get some water.” She rubbed the animal’s back and giggled when it wiggled. “I’ll be right back.” She was happy as she left the bedroom and headed toward the kitchen. She still had to go to the bathroom, but she could hold it till she got a bowl full of water for her pet. After all, Sheila depended on her. She could go pee anytime. She closed the door to her bedroom, so Sheila couldn’t run about the house, and went for the water.
She turned on the light when she entered the kitchen. She shivered a little. It was cold. She opened the cupboard by the refrigerator, took out a bowl and went to the sink. She turned on the water. Then she heard it, a crackling kind of sound from outside the kitchen window. Someone was there, walking across the dried leaves outside. She turned to the window and saw nothing but her reflection, but it felt like somebody was out there. She turned off the water with the bowl only partially full.
She set it on the counter. The house was quiet as the desert with no wind. She took shallow, silent breaths, as if whoever was out there could hear the blood surging through her veins and the raging sound of air as it rushed in and out of her lungs.
Something scraped along the side of the house, by the kitchen window. Her heart pounded. She walked backwards, taking baby steps, without picking up her feet. She put her hands behind herself, feeling for the doorway between the kitchen and the hallway. More scraping. She wanted to run, but was frozen. She took a deep breath, fighting back a cough as her asthma kicked up. She tried to hold it back. Her inhaler was by the sink, but the sink was under the window.
She had another one, but where was it? Her lungs started to spasm. Where was it? She closed her eyes for a flash and tried to picture where she’d seen it last. Ever since she could remember she’d had trouble with words. She always seemed to get the letters mixed up. She compensated by remembering things as pictures. She saw the picture. It was sitting on the TV.
The muscles in her stomach started to contract. She doubled over and bit her lip, fighting back the coughing spasm. She forced her feet to move. More scraping outside. The person, animal or thing out there was getting closer to the window above the sink. She was afraid to breathe, if she didn’t get the inhaler quick, she might have a full blown attack. She stretched her right arm behind herself, never taking her eyes off the window, finally she felt the door jamb.
She had no choice. She grabbed a great breath and went into a jerking, gut wrenching, coughing spasm. An attack was close. She reached up and flicked off the light, covering the room in darkness. Then she turned, coughing and holding her hands out in front of herself, because the spasm forced her to keep her eyes squinted shut.
She felt along wall, till she found the door to the dining room. She stumbled into the table, banging herself in the shins on one of the dining room chairs. She put her hands on top of the table and worked her way around it. If whatever was outside was making any noise, she was drowning it out with her coughing.
She made her way halfway around the table, then she turned toward the living room, flicking the dining room light off as she passed it. She stumbled and fell over the couch, winding up on the floor. The attack was close. She crawled to the television, fought to get up on her knees, reaching out for the inhaler.
It wasn’t there.
Her mother must have moved it.
Where would she put it?
The medicine cabinet in the hallway bathroom. That’s where her mother always put the inhalers when she left them lying around.
The spasm eased up for a second and she crawled over to the end table by the right side of the couch, reached up and turned the lamp off. Now the house was dark.
She pushed herself off the floor, forcing herself into a bent over crouch with her hands on her knees. She walked bent, coughing and jerking, with her head facing the floor. She remembered to go around the table in the dining room, but she misjudged where the doorway was and bumped into the wall. She flung her arms left and right along it and found the doorway. She moved right and went through it.
The attack was on her. She felt like she was going to die. She was afraid the inhaler wouldn’t be enough. She might need oxygen. She didn’t have any. She was never without her inhalers. She’d never had a problem, till now, but she’d never been this terrified and worked up before.
She moved along the wall with her right hand leading the way, feeling for the bathroom door. She wished she would have left her bedroom door open, because then the light from her room would have been enough for her to see in the hallway. She felt the doorway, but she was afraid she didn’t have time to feel around in the darkness for the medicine cabinet, so she flicked on the light and opened the mirrored door. It was there. She grabbed it with a shaking hand, put it to her lips and took a quick puff, followed by two more, and the contractions started to weaken.
After a few seconds she was able to breathe again, not normally, but well enough so she could move about the house. She turned off the bathroom light and scooted along the wall toward her bedroom. She found the door, felt for the knob, found it, opened it and went in, closing it after herself and turning out the light.
There was someone out there. She felt it. She knew it. Last night she only felt it. Tonight she knew it. And tonight she was alone, again. But she wasn’t going to sit and wait for them, or it, to come and get her, no sir. She took another puff from her inhaler, then put it in her pocket. It was stupid not having one there all along. Then she set Sheila on her shoulder with one hand and grabbed her father’s old baseball bat from under her bed with the other.
She sat on the bed for a minute, catching her breath and letting her eyes get used to the dark, then she went into the living room where the phone was. By the time she sat down on the couch, the attack was over and she was breathing normally.
She set Sheila down on the back of the couch and dialed Arty’s number, feeling a small sense of relief when she heard the phone on the on the other end of the line start ringing.
He heard the phone ringing from under his pillow and was afraid to answer it. What if it was her. But of course it was her, nobody ever called him. It was her. It had to be her. He wished he didn’t have a phone in his room. He wished he didn’t have his own number. But he had a paper route and sometimes he had to use the phone for collections and his father wouldn’t let him use the family’s phone. He made Arty have his own, and he made him pay for it, too.
The back of his neck tingled with the vibration of each ring. He’d been sleeping on his back, with his head directly over the phone. He didn’t want to answer it, but if he didn’t, his parents might hear it and come into his room. He didn’t think they could hear it, though. The pillow hid the sound, like pillows always hide the sound of a bad guy’s pistol in old gangster movies.
The phone rang again.
What if she’d heard the noise again?
The phone rang again.
What if she felt like she was being watched again?
The phone rang again.
What if she wanted him to come over?
The phone rang again.
He picked it up.
“ Hello,” he tried to sound sleepy, but he was afraid his whispering voice had betrayed him.
“ Arty?” It was her.
“ It’s me.”
“ Did I wake you up?”
“ Yes,” he lied.
“ But it’s only eight-thirty.”
“ I go to bed early, ’cuz of my paper route.” He didn’t want to tell her that he couldn’t stand watching television with his father, that he’d much rather be alone in his room.
“ There’s someone outside.”
“ Get your mother, right now,” he whispered into the phone.
“ She’s not here, and I’m kinda scared. I turned all the lights off, so I can hide better if he comes in.”
“ No, that’s stupid,” he whispered loudly. “Turn ’em back on. You don’t want it to look like nobody’s home. And turn on the TV.”
“ But whoever it is knows I’m here.”
“ Make sure all the doors and windows are locked. I’ll be right over. Don’t let anyone in till I get there. Oh, yeah, I’ll knock three times, Knock, knock, knock,” he said slowly, “that’s how you’ll know it’s me.”
“ Do you know where I live?”
“ I know.” Arty knew where everybody lived. “I’m leaving right now.”
He hung up the phone and pushed himself off the bed. He might be in serious trouble with his father tomorrow for sneaking out, but he had a friend who needed him tonight.
He pulled his flannel pajama pants out from between the crack in his buttocks, then pulled them down. For an instant, naked from the waist down, he wondered about what to wear, then he dropped the thought and pulled on the same underwear he’d worn to school. His mother never would have approved. Then he went to his dresser and pulled out a faded pair of Levi’s from the second drawer.
Breathing heavily and already sweating, he stuffed his feet into the same white socks he’d worn earlier. If he was violating his mother’s rule about never wearing anything he’d taken off till it was washed again, he might as well go all the way. But not the white tennis shoes, he’d never wear those again. He rummaged in his closet and came up with his new Nikes and put them on.
He took a deep breath, to calm himself, after he’d laced them up. He scratched the back of his neck, to chase away the chilly willies, and took another breath, before opening the second from the top dresser drawer and taking out an old sweatshirt. He put it on over his pajama top. He knew how cold it was outside.
Now he had to get out of the house. There was no way he was going to get down the hall, through the kitchen and out the back door. His mother spent every night sitting at the breakfast table, alone, reading. And he wasn’t going to get out the front way either. His father spent every night in front of the television, also alone. That meant he had to go out the window. Something he hadn’t done since he was younger-and leaner.
He pulled the curtains aside and raised the window. The squeaking sound it made going up caused him to jump back. He held his breath and waited. But nobody came.
He stared at the open window for a long half-minute. Outside meant danger, excitement, a friend. Inside was his mother in the kitchen, his father in front of the TV and Arty alone in his room. He blanked his mind, putting tomorrow and his parents out of the picture and his leg through the window.
Fifteen minutes later he was huffing up the sidewalk in front of Carolina’s house. He jogged up to the front porch without thinking, grabbed a lungful of air and knocked three times. The door opened immediately.
“ Boy am I glad you came.” The relief in her eyes made whatever his father decided to do to him tomorrow worth it.
“ I got here as fast as I could.”
“ Come in, quick. I think someone’s been looking in the window.”
“ You didn’t turn the lights on,” he said. “We gotta do that.”
“ You sure?”
“ Yeah, how many movies have you seen where the bad guy comes into the dark house?”
“ Okay.” She walked over to the couch and turned on the lamp.
“ Where’s your mom?”
“ On a date. Follow me.” She led him over plush white carpet, across a living room filled with a bright orange and yellow overstuffed sofa with matching love seat and chair. “My mom likes bright things,” she said. “My room is this way.”
“ I can’t go in your room.”
“ Why not?”
“ I don’t know,” he said, but he knew the answer and he didn’t feel like holding it back. “My mother wouldn’t like it.”
“ So, don’t tell her.” She turned on the light as she entered her room.
“ It’s nice,” he said. “I’ve never been in a girl’s bedroom before. Actually, I’ve never been in anyone’s bedroom but mine. My parents won’t let me in theirs and I don’t have many friends.”
“ That’s too bad,” she said.
“ How come you got two beds?”
“ They were on sale when my mom bought the furniture for the house. She thought it would be a good idea, in case I had friends sleep over.”
“ You got many friends that spend the night?”
“ Not yet.”
“ The bedspreads are different,” he said. Then he screamed.
“ Sheila,” Carolina said, sounding cross and trying not to. “Come here.” She laughed as the ferret jumped from Arty’s shoulder into her lap.
“ What is it?” Arty asked, feeling sweat run under his arms.
“ It’s my ferret. Arty meet Sheila, Sheila meet Arty.”
“ Keep it away.”
“ Oh grow up. She won’t hurt you. She’s as harmless as a cat.”
“ You’re sure?”
“ Sure. Stick out your hand.”
He obeyed and extended his arm. Sheila approached warily and nuzzled his hand. “She likes me.” He stroked her fur. Then he said, “She has a gold necklace like yours.”
“ Yeah, mine was too long, so I used a pliers and made it shorter, and since Sheila had to have a name tag I used the leftover part instead of a collar.”
“ I’ve never had a pet before,” he said.
“ Me either, Sheila’s my first, and my mom doesn’t know about her.”
“ What?”
“ She’s a secret pet.”
“ If she’s a secret why does she need a name tag?”
“ Because if she gets lost and someone finds her, I want them to know she’s a pet and not a wild animal, so they don’t hurt her.”
“ How did you get her?”
“ I saved my allowance and lunch money, till I had enough. I got her at the pet store in Tampico.”
“ So how come it’s a secret?”
“ Because I know my mom. She’d make me give her away. She hates animals.”
“ How do you keep her from finding out?” He smiled at the clucking sound the ferret was making.
“ I buy dried cat food with my allowance and keep it in my underwear drawer. My mother never looks in there.” She smiled more with the right side of her face than the left.
“ You have a crooked smile.”
“ Really?” She looked in the mirror above her dresser. “Yeah, I do.”
“ Where does it go to the bathroom?”
“ At first I thought that would be my big problem, but it wasn’t. I leave the window open a little bit and she squeezes out when she has to go and comes right back in afterwards.”
“ Did you train her to do that?”
“ No, she always did it. She’s never gone in the house.”
“ Does she ever bite?”
“ Only when she’s playing, but it’s just little nibbles and it doesn’t hurt.”
The ferret arched its back and screamed, making a sound like a baby that had been scalded with boiling water. Arty jumped away from the animal, squirming and turning along with Carolina, following the ferret’s frightened gaze and he saw two glowing red eyes staring into the room. Staring at them. Then they faded to black and were gone.