I was halfway through my scrambled eggs and bacon, sitting in bed with a tray, enjoying it, looking forward to my coffee, when suddenly I felt there was something I was trying to remember, something I wanted to say. It roamed around the alleys of my mind like a drunk trying to find where he’d dropped his car keys.
Brett was in bed with me, stretched out beside me, a pillow propped behind her head. She wore shorts and a sweatshirt. She smelled like perfume and fried foods. Leonard was in the chair next to the bed. He had been talking about things that didn’t matter, and it was exactly what I wanted to hear. Those things that didn’t matter were really good conversation right then. I knew Leonard thought I was bad off because he even asked me if I would tell a joke. He hates my jokes.
I didn’t have a joke. I was too weak to have a joke. I could see he was actually relieved, and so was Brett.
“Did Leonard tell you I wanted to put you down, but he insisted you were going to be all right? I was about to call the vet and have it done, and he showed up.”
“There was a moment there when I would have invited it.”
She pushed my hair off my forehead and kissed my cheek.
Right then I loved her more than I had ever loved her.
I was sipping on my coffee when I had a flash as clear as daylight. I said, “Bert’s dead.”
“Bert?” Brett said.
“Mini’s stepfather,” Leonard said.
“He’s dead,” I said.
“You just have a psychic vision or something?” Leonard asked.
I put my cup of coffee on the tray. “No,” I said. “I saw him dead. Last night.”
I told them what I had seen.
Leonard said, “Maybe you never left the chair. Maybe you thought you saw what you saw. You told me vampires were after you.”
“I did?”
“You did.”
“It all seems like a dream. I think I remember thinking I’d call the police, then Marvin, then you, Leonard.”
“Was I on the list?” Brett asked.
“You were next.”
“But you didn’t call,” Leonard said.
“I guess not.”
“It was a kind of trigger, Hap, you seeing Bert’s body, or thinking you did, or dreaming you did. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. And in case you’re not following my cliche, you’re the camel.”
“You really think you saw a dead man?” Brett said. “Or are you screwed in the head, honey?”
“Sympathy like that,” Leonard said, “is why you’re a nurse.”
“I’m just sayin’,” Brett said.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I really don’t. I’d have a hard time trying to remember my shoe size right now. But it seemed real. I had this feeling that things weren’t right, and I went out there. He called, see, and I went to sleep, and I woke up feeling like it wasn’t right.”
“But you don’t know for a fact you went to see him?” Brett said.
I shook my head.
“You been kind of goofy lately,” Leonard said. “I saw this coming, but I wasn’t expecting it to be like this.”
“What were you expectin’?” I asked.
“It didn’t involve you shittin’ yourself while sittin’ in a big armchair,” Leonard said. “That much I can tell you.”
“Which, by the way,” Brett said, “I have disposed of the chair. I took it to the dump. You owe me a chair, Hap.”
“I’ll get right on that,” I said.
Leonard got up and started for the door.
I said, “Where are you goin’?”
“To get Bert’s Camp Rapture address from the folder, then I’m going to go see if you’re nuts.”