“Uh-huh. Bingo.”
She racked her brain. A deadly sin? Her? Impossible. “Which one?”
“I’ll give you another clue.”
“Garry, this is getting annoying. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep this channel open and I need you to—”
“It starts with a P.” Seraphina grinned perfect little white teeth.
“P?” Val thought about that, and ticked off the sins one by one in her mind. Not greed, or gluttony, or sloth . . . she certainly kept busy enough Up There to not be accused of laziness . .
. not wrath or envy . . . not lust . . .
She paused on that one. No, she hadn’t met Nathaniel until after she’d fallen.
But that was beside the point.
“Pride?” she finally said. “Are you kidding me?”
Seraphina nodded her head and her flaxen curls bounced jauntily. “You got it. But being that it’s the only P sin on the list, it was a bit of a gimme.”
“Pride?” she repeated, incredulously.
“You know what they say about pride, don’t you Val?”
She shook her head, feeling numb.
“It comes before a fall. Get it? A fall?”
Val wondered, if she wrapped her hands around the little girl’s neck, would Garry feel it in
Heaven? She managed to restrain herself.
“Yes,” Garry continued after he’d finished chuckling at his less-than-amusing joke.
“According to your file, the pride you felt doing your angel duties, especially after winning the angel-of-the-month award a while back, was enough to get you tossed. Sorry, I’m just reporting what it says here.”
Her notebook was out on her lap and she jotted down what he was saying. “I really won the angel-of-the-month award?”
He sighed. “Yes. I can’t believe that you don’t remember that. You went on and on about it for ages.”
“And what exactly did I do again? My job?”
A heavier sigh now. “After the humans came through the gate and finished with me, you showed them around Heaven. Made them feel welcome. Listened to the stories of their lives without looking too bored.”
She nodded as she listened and wrote. She remembered that. She’d always found it interesting, fascinating even to meet her assignments and help them adjust to their new and perfect afterlives—and more than happy that she hadn’t had to live on Earth as a human, too, after hearing their stories—but to say she took pride in it . . .
Well, she did feel she did a very good job. And, hello? Angel-of-the-month award?
But, was that pride?
Geesh. It wasn’t like wrath, or anything. Pride was such a tiny little deadly sin. Barely even worth noticing. Hardly something to warrant such a miserable punishment.
“It’s not all that bad,” Garry’s words cut through her thoughts. “You’ve always seemed so enamored by the humans, interested in the lives they’d lived . . .”
“It doesn’t mean I wanted to become one,” she cut him off. “Like, ever.”
“Well, you should have thought about that before the whole pride thing.”
“Garry,” she said, and hated that there was a distinct whine to her voice now. “You have to do something. If I was too proud I’ll make up for it. I don’t want to be human. It’s horrible. You have no idea what it’s like down here. It’s rainy, miserable, desperate. I’m sick, too. There’s phlegm. There’s no phlegm in Heaven. Phlegm is a very bad thing. And . . . and I’m scared.
Garry, I’m so scared and lonely and—” She broke off.
And there’s a really hot demon who wants to add me to his collection.
Seraphina pursed her little lips and Garry spoke. “There’s nothing I can do. The scroll’s official.”
She frowned. “Has anyone been keeping track of my good deeds? It’s not just to kiss up, either. I’m like a machine of goodness. That old lady I helped cross the street the other day?
That should be worth something. I still have the bruise from where she hit me with her cane.
But she made it to the other side in one piece and that was a very busy road! And, come on, the whole killer whale tank thing? Was that your idea? I won’t hold a grudge, I promise!”
“There are worse punishments than being human, you know.”
She sighed. Her words were wasted on him. “Easy for you to say.”
“Hey, maybe in seventy years when you’ve helped enough old ladies across the street you might be forgiven. When you, you know, die. Other than that, I’m not seeing any other way for you to get back here.”
“This is not helping. I want to speak to the boss. Is he available? Can somebody get him?”
Seraphina’s eyes widened. “Are you kidding? He is very busy, you know. Besides, speaking to fallen ones is not something He would be interested in doing. Ever.”
“Can’t you just make an exception? For me?”
“No way. Not a chance. Look, Val, got to go. No offense, but I can’t spend all day talking to a fallen one. My review’s coming up.” Seraphina’s eyes began to close.
“Wait . . . Garry, please . . .”
Her eyes snapped back open. “Yes?”
Valerie sniffed, and it wasn’t from only the head cold anymore. Her eyes stung with tears threatening to fall. “Please, there’s a Tempter Demon after me. He wants to lure me to Hell.
You have to help me. How can I make him leave me alone?”
A grin spread across her face. “A Tempter? For real? I’ve heard stories, and all, but never seen one. Is it true that they’re incredibly good-looking?”