The day – that horrible day – began as any other, and was actually quite pleasant for the most part. Billy and I worked in the fields during the morning, and then we drove into Milwaukee in Dad's pickup truck and did some shopping and various errands. We stopped at Marquette University so Billy could pick up some information. He was planning on attending the university full-time in the fall, and I knew I would miss him living at home. But my fears that day all disappeared when we stopped for a huge ice cream soda on the way back to Two Forks.
Driving back in the truck, Billy told me he had a date for the evening. I can't remember what her name was, but Tom had introduced him to this "new girl in town" just a few days before. Billy seemed very excited about his upcoming date and I was saddened by it – I was in an extremely sexual mood that afternoon, and I would have given anything to spend a few minutes in the barn with Billy, but I knew he wouldn't want to since all he was thinking about was his date.
We arrived home in time for supper, but didn't eat much. Mother yelled at us for spoiling our appetites, but we held true to the story that we had been on an all-day fast. Billy kicked my leg under the table. We could hardly keep straight faces.
After supper, Billy took a hot bath and shined his shoes and spent almost an hour in front of the mirror. I didn't talk to him much because I was depressed. I knew Mother and Dad were going to a wedding reception and I would be home alone. They had invited me to go along, but I hated those dumb affairs where everyone stands around in a hot, crowded hall and makes noise. I decided to stay home alone.
Billy left about seven o'clock – Dad let him use the pickup truck, which I thought was a pretty terrible way to squire an important date around – and my parents left shortly after that. Corky and I sat on the front porch for a long time, watching the sun sink into the fields. I felt as sexual then as I had that afternoon, and I didn't know what to do about it. The act of intercourse had been on my mind for the past week – I don't know why, but it had. I thought of it often, dreamed of it, wondered what it would be like, wondered what it would feel like.
I stood up, trying to get the thoughts out of my mind, and started walking down the walk to the road. Corky stayed on the porch, sleeping. I walked toward the orange glow in the sky to the West, wishing Tom would drop over to visit Billy, wishing that Tom would spend a few hours alone with me since Billy wasn't there.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even see the car pass me. I only realized that one had when I saw it turning around about fifty feet ahead of me. I kept on walking, thinking nothing of it, until it slowed down right next to me.
When I turned my head I was greeted by the smiling face of a man I had never seen before, but immediately found attractive. I think now it was love at first sight. My Prince Valiant had appeared from out of the sky. I stopped walking and smiled.
The warning my mother had given many times in my youth immediately flashed through my head – "Don't talk to strangers or accept rides from them!" – and I immediately forgot about it. This guy's smile was all I needed to get me in that car.
"Hi! Listen, is the Johnston farm around here somewhere?" he asked in a pleasant masculine voice.
"Who?" I asked, thinking I hadn't heard him correctly.
"Johnston."
I had heard him correctly. "No," I said honestly, "I've never heard of them."
He paused a moment, looking me up and down. "Well, I guess maybe I got the wrong directions."
"Yes, maybe," I said, smiling back at him.
There was a strange feeling in the air and I sensed it. I was fascinated by his good looks and his deep voice, not to mention his big beautiful car. He didn't look rich, but he looked more sophisticated than any of the boys I had known or had gone to school with. He was older than my friends, older than Billy, but he didn't seem like a father-type. I secretly – in that two minutes on the road – wanted him to be my boyfriend.
"It's beginning to get dark," he said, leaning his head out of the window of the automobile.
"Yes," I said, walking slowly closer to the car.
"Is there a motel anywhere nearby? I'm from Chicago and I don't plan on spending any more time trying to find the Johnston farm."
I looked at the license plates on the car – Illinois. I thought about a motel, knowing well there was one in Two Forks and hundreds in Milwaukee, but I didn't tell him the truth.
"I don't think there's one for miles," I said, not really knowing why. Perhaps I just wanted him to stay and talk to me for a few minutes, to keep from getting too lonely. It is hard to look back now and see it clearly.
He said something about resting for a few minutes and then driving back to Illinois, which I thought sounded very natural. And so I invited him to drive up to the house and have some lemonade with me on the porch till he was rested. I almost asked him if he wanted to spend the night in the barn, but then I realized that was a silly idea. Billy had told me a dirty joke once about the "farmer's daughter" and it passed through my mind at that moment.
He agreed to stop up at the house with me, so I got in the car with him and we drove the short distance to our house. I volunteered all kinds of information.
"My parents went to a wedding and my older brother is out on a date, so I'm kind of glad you came along. I don't like to be alone." I got out of the car and he did the same.
Corky jumped up when he heard the car door slam and immediately began barking. I told him to stop, but he didn't seem to like the man, and so I put him in the house.
"Just wait here on the porch. I'll keep him in the house," I said, dragging Corky past the screen door.
"Fine," he said, sitting in one of the chairs.
"My name's Margaret. But you can call me Maggie," I said from inside the door.
"I'm Gene," he replied, smiling. I giggled and went to the kitchen to get some lemonade.
I had no fears, and not too many ideas or hopes of anything happening sexually between us. I knew that even if I thought it, I wouldn't be able to go through with it. My only sexual contact had been Billy, and I didn't know how to handle it with anyone else. Even with Tom, I felt secure because Billy was present. Oh yes, I had thought about being alone with Tom, but I knew if that dream ever became reality, I wouldn't know how to handle myself. I was scared to experiment without the help and guidance of my brother.
I took the pitcher of lemonade from the icebox, grabbed two plastic glasses and placed them on a tray, and then arranged a few sugar cookies I had baked the day before on a plate and added that to the tray. With the poise of a little hostess in my plain yellow dress, I carried the food to the porch.
When I opened the door I couldn't help but look at Gene's crotch. He was sitting with his legs wide spread in front of me and I thought for a moment I saw a long bulge in his pants, just like Billy had when his cock – I started calling the male organ a "cock" because that's how Billy and Tom referred to it most of the time – was hard.
Gene stood up and I had to take my eyes off his pants or I would have dropped the entire tray into his lap. He helped me set it on the little table between the chairs, and we both sipped lemonade as we talked.
He asked me all kinds of questions about my family, our house, my brother, my schooling. I don't remember being able to ask him much of anything because he was talking so fast and questioning me so rapidly. I know he told me he lived in an apartment in Chicago and was looking for the Johnston farm because of a business deal.
All through the conversation I kept looking down to his crotch to see if it was really there. Sure enough, it was very evident, a long thick bulge that showed along the leg of his pants.
I suddenly felt the desire to fellate him. I wanted to do to him what I had become so good at, what I did to Billy every few days. But I didn't know how to suggest it, or even to allude to it.
To my surprise, the subject of our talk suddenly turned to sex and I had my opening. He asked me something about living on a farm, away from so many people, how does a young girl gain sexual release or find boyfriends? I told him I had a few boyfriends, but I didn't play around much like some of the girls. I only did a few things.
"What do you mean, a few things?"
I didn't know what to say. "Well, you know, not actually giving up my virginity… Other things." I didn't know what I was talking about any longer.
"So you're a virgin?" he asked, amused.
I just nodded. "But I've had relations with boys. Two of them, as a matter of fact." I wanted to sound so mature, so grown, so attractive.
"You know something, I like you. I really do. I like girls your age, they're so sweet and honest. Older women really seem dull in comparison." He stared at me with his huge blue eyes. I melted.
"I like you too, really, I do," I said, perhaps a little too strongly.
Gene reached over and touched my hand with his. I trembled as my skin became prickly under my yellow dress. This was it, I told myself, I had to let go or tell him to leave. I let go.
Shaking with fear, I stood up and moved close to him. He put his arms up and I sat on his knee and immediately my face met his in a long kiss. He moved my lips open with his hard tongue and pressed it into my mouth. No one had ever done that to me in my life, not even Billy or Tom, so it was a totally new thrill, one that I liked a lot. Then I did the same to him, pushing my tongue into his warm mouth as far as I could. His arms grasped me tightly.
I could feel his hard organ under my thigh pressing up against my flesh. He held me tight as he moved his body a bit to rub it even harder against me. I broke from his lips and jumped up, brushing my hair back from my eyes. He thought I was going to tell him to leave – I could see it in his eyes. But I didn't do that, I wasn't even thinking of anything like that. I wanted to do to him what I would do to Billy if we had just hugged and gotten excited.
I fell to my knees and started to open his zipper. He didn't let me. He did it himself, like a madman, quickly pulling the zipper down, unbuckling his pants, opening them. He slid his undershorts down to his thighs and his huge penis popped out in front of my face.
It was bigger than Billy's, so big I wondered if I could get it in my mouth. I tried immediately, smashing my head to the stiff organ, taking the purplish head in my wet lips and sliding down until the tip rested in my throat.
Gene went wild. He began saying over and over, "I don't believe it, I don't believe it!" I worked as hard and as well as I could, taking his long thick cock in fast plunges, running my tongue around the tip every time it came to my lips. I wanted to play with his balls, but his pants were tight around his thighs and covered them.
I worked expertly, driving him to near frenzy. Perhaps I shouldn't have been so good, or so attractive, or whatever it was that drove him to the point he reached. He was like an animal, fucking my mouth now rather than allowing my lips to control the act of fellatio. He began shouting and his arms banged against the arms of the chair.
All of a sudden, he jumped up. His cock ripped from my lips and bounced above me as he pulled his pants down to his knees. His balls hung low between his legs and I immediately lifted my head to take them in my lips, but he pulled away and would not let me.
He fell to the floor of the porch next to me and started kissing me again, moving his hands to my breasts. His wet penis rubbed against my leg as he rubbed my firm breasts. He tried to get to them from the neck of my dress, but couldn't. Then, instead of opening the buttons at the back, he just ripped my dress from the neck down the front. I screamed. One of the prettiest pieces of clothing I owned had just been ruined.
I knew then something terrible was going to happen. I held my breath in fear for the first time in my life. I prayed for Billy to come home, but no one came.
After he ripped my dress, he thrust his hand in under my bra and took hold of my breast. He squeezed it and moaned in my ear as I remained silent, too scared to protest, too confused to fight him.
He moved his other hand up under my skirt to my burning pussy. I had been excited all day and my panties were terribly wet now the way they always got when I performed fellatio. His fingers drew them down my body, over my buttocks, and off over my feet. He spread my legs with both hands, releasing his pressure on my breast, and then began to rub his hand along the sensitive lips of my pussy.
I think it was at that moment that I realized what he was going to do to me. He was going to fuck me and I didn't want him to. It was all wrong – it was supposed to have been in a bed with someone I really loved and cared about and it was to have been done only after a long "going steady" period and a lot of touching and feeling and kissing. But there we were, on the porch at night, a total stranger and a young girl.
"Maggie! Oh, Maggie! I'm going to fuck you for the first time in your life! I'm going to fuck you, you little bitch!" He wasn't screaming, but rather talking low and intense, as if some supernatural force had possessed him. Tears welled up in my eyes and I began to cry as he positioned his large body over my helpless one. I didn't want it to happen, I wouldn't let it happen. I brought a knee up and smashed it in his stomach.
He doubled up and rolled next to me, swearing, as I sat up and tried to get away. He was much faster than I, and he grabbed me and knocked me to the floor. I don't know exactly what happened after that. I remember struggling, trying to push him off me, trying to scratch his face. But he pinned me to the floor and held me there with his powerful hands.
I looked up to him and realized that the face I had thought was so attractive now had turned to some kind of raving animal. He reminded me of a dog I had seen when I was little – a dog with rabies who had to be shot. I wanted to shoot the man above me, the animal above me, and I heard Corky's barking as I felt the huge penis pressing its head against the inside of my thighs.
I must have screamed, but I can't remember. I only know that suddenly there was a pain in my body, through my entire body. There may have also been a jolt of pleasure, but I don't remember it. It was the ugliest moment of my life, the most painful and disgraceful one. I passed out cold, I think not so much from the horrible pain but from the desire to withdraw from the situation, to block it out of my consciousness.
My parents found me on the porch. I was bruised and in a state of shock, and they carried me into the house and called the country doctor. I remember waking up and hearing someone saying something about semen being on my yellow dress and how it was ruined. Then my mother sat on the bed near me and pressed a cold compress to my forehead. I asked for Billy.
I wanted to see Billy, for he was the only person in the world who could comfort me, the only person who would understand. I slept and wakened alternately while policemen talked to my parents and the doctor kept taking my pulse. Finally, after what seemed like days but was actually only hours, Billy walked into the room.
I opened my eyes and looked up.
"Little sister, it's okay," he said gently, sitting down next to me. We were alone in the room. I started to cry.
"Hey, come on now, it'll be all right, it's over. You just sleep and never mind explaining it, they can all wait till tomorrow." He tucked the covers in around me and gently brushed my hair from my eyes. I watched him, content, feeling safe now, feeling better. I was in safe, protective hands. Billy would never do such a terrible thing to me as that man had done. No one would. Ever.