Paula and Her Stepfather
"I was about ten years old when my father was killed in a coal mine outside Garterville. As I recall mother's telling me, it was a mine cave-in. About two years later, mother remarried. Her new husband was a very nice man, several years younger than she. Julius was 28 at the time, and mother was 30. He was good-looking and easygoing, but he did have one defective trait: The poor dear simply couldn't hold a job-not that he was lazy or a bum! I think he had some kind of emotional difficulty which prompted him always to find something wrong with either the job or his boss. Either working conditions weren't right, or else the boss 'had it in* for him.
"Because Ju-Ju-that's what mother and I called him-was not a good provider, mother had to return to her job at one of the local bakeries. She didn't want to, but she had no choice, riot being able to depend on Ju-Ju for any kind of constant support; but, as she told me when I got older and could understand what a crummy world this is, she didn't divorce him because she felt I needed a father's influence. And Ju-Ju was very good to me; in turn, I was very fond of him. However, you've got to admit his 'fatherly influence' didn't work very well-did it? Or I wouldn't be here-would I? I guess my mother's wasn't much good either…
"Anyhow, it was a real groovy scene as I got older. Ju and I went everywhere together. Yes, he was genuinely fond of me and enjoyed doing things for me and making me happy. I attribute this to the fact that, in many ways, he was like a kid himself. Ju-Ju was forever seeing some kind of rosy future, but never doing anything to make his dreams come true. He'd get fired from a job, or quit, and when mother would raise Gain with him, he'd merely laugh and say that life was too short to be taken seriously. He said success was just a matter of luck, but, of course, all failures in the world give that cop-out.
"But I liked my-stepfather. Looking back, I think I loved him. I think I still do. For one thing, he loved classical music; so did I. When I got older, around thirteen and fourteen, he always bought a nice record for me, when he had any spare money-like for my birthday last year, he got me an LP of Debussy's La Mer. But I don't suppose you're interested in my interest in music, which has nothing to do with fucking! Needless to say, the idea to have my stepfather cop my cherry didn't develop overnight. I got to blowing my dates first and having them suck me off. First of all, I enjoyed sex. I dig feeling a boy's tongue roaming around in my cunt-and sucking on a cock isn't bad either. It's just like sucking on a big banana-except for the taste of come. But there's a way to get around that! All a girl has to do is chew gum before she sucks the guy. Too, I figured that selling my pussy would be an ideal way to get what I wanted-better clothes and other things. At first, my plan to use sex to good advantage was rather an ephemeral one, but then I got to thinking. We were having a rough time of it at home, sailing along on a financial sea in a boat that was more than leaky. Mother always managed to dress me fairly well, and though I looked better than a lot of kids at school, that still didn't prevent me from wanting more. I made up my mind: I'd sell my cunt-which made more sense than giving it away, the way a lot of girls did, just so they could have dates.
"Right off, I began having difficulties-oh, nothing really serious. It was only that the other girls at school could not understand my sudden popularity, as I wasn't the type of gal whom boys were anxious to date. While I was one of the most attractive girls in school, I wasn't a leader in student activities and was considered somewhat of a square because I didn't mix and take part in their childish games; there was also the fact that I always made excellent grades, my proficiency causing a lot of the girls to be jealous of me.
"Nevertheless, the other girls never did discover the reason for my sudden popularity with the boys, thinking I was a big hit because of my figure. In a way, they were half right. Those dumb kids! They wouldn't have believed that I was a virgin and never, but never, permitted my dates the pleasure of sexual intercourse-that I had decided to save my cherry for the man I'd eventually love.
"When a boy would ask me for a date, I'd smile and nod my head. 'You know, of course, it will cost you?' I would say.
"Some boys realized what I meant. Others thought that I had only expensive tastes. What I really meant is that I only dated if I was paid, and that the date would always include the boy's getting his peter sucked. A few of the guys dated me only once, but most of them always came back for more and more, like, for instance, Jerry. I never will forget the first time I dated him.
"He asked me for a date, and I said, 'Sure, Jerry, I'll go out with you. But it will cost you-at least ten dollars.'
"Uh-huh, I knew what he was assuming-that I meant a dinner and a movie. The poor dope. I knew he was figuring all the angles, thinking he was getting off cheap.
"That night he picked me up in his father's car, and as soon as I had seated myself, I mentioned the ten-spot. The poor boy stared at me in bewilderment.
"'You mean-I'm supposed to pay you?'
"'If you want to get between my legs, you are,' I said sweetly.
" ‘Well, I'll be damned!' he exclaimed. 'This is certainly a new one on me. I've never paid a girl to go out with me, but at least I won't have to coax you into letting me have a piece.' Fumbling with his wallet, he handed me a ten-dollar bill. Then, rather gruffly-I knew he was trying to cover up his surprise-he asked me where I wanted to go. 'The drive-in okay with you? Or do you want to eat first?'
"'Drive directly to the park,' I said matter-of-factly, wanting to laugh. Why, he acted as if we were on a legitimate date.
" ‘Huh! To the park! You mean right now?' he echoed.
"'I certainly don't mean tomorrow,' I said. 'You've paid for my services, so there's no point in us beating around the bush.'
" ‘You sure as hell are cold-blooded about it,' Jerry said. Then he drove to the well-known lovers' lane area of the park that was well secluded.
"After he turned off the lights, I promptly went into action. I unbuttoned my blouse, exposing my breasts, and then took Jerry's hands and placed them on my hot flesh. After he had nervously kneaded them a bit, I cuddled close and lifted my mouth to receive his kiss, making ready with my tongue, which was wet and practiced. A gal can always get a boy hot by French-kissing him. For a moment, my tongue danced with his, as our mouths met, then withdrew so that I could grab him fully with my lips and suck upon him. Soon, realizing that I had stimulated him enough, I reached to his lap, expertly lifted his zipper tab between thumb and forefinger, and drew it downward. Then I reached inside and pulled out his hard, throbbing peter.
"'Ohhhh, gosh!' Jerry gulped. 'This is great!'
" ‘Oh sure. Gee, golly-gosh, gee-whizz,' I said, kidding him.
"For a few seconds I merely held onto his cock, tightening my fingers around the hard shaft of flesh. Then, when I felt his fingers digging into my breasts, I gently began moving my hand up and down over his root, giving him a rather slow masturbation job, but still careful not to stimulate him to the point of ejaculation.
"Well, that was a proven method, and very soon Jerry wheezed a long, shuddering sigh of desire and began probing between my thighs with his hands, Tsk-tsk-such a nasty boy. And terribly stupid, too!
"'Come on,' he whispered. 'Let me put it in. Let's fuck!' Hooking his fingers into my panties, he attempted to pull them down over my hips. That's when I gave him the bad news.
"'Nothing doing,' I said. 'You're not getting my cherry, buster!'
"You'd have thought I had slapped him. I could see him staring at me in the semidarkness, and once more he tried to force his hand between my legs, which were clamped together as tightly as a stamp on an envelope.
"'What the shit you trying to pull, goddam it!' he said, his voice rising and growing worried. ‘I done paid you ten bucks for a piece of ass! Cone on! Let's screw-or give me my money back!'
"That's right, Jerry boy, you did. But I didn't say I was going to let you fuck me. I only said that you could get between my legs, and you have-with your hands!'
"'Now, goddam it! If you think-' He began to rave.
" ‘Oh shut up,' I giggled, squeezing his prick very hard. 'Lean back and I'll show you something,' Actually, I was delighting in his fear and anxiety.
"Although confused, Jerry nevertheless obeyed, leaning back against the seat and spreading his legs somewhat. I folded my fingers around the upper portion of his peter and deftly pushed downward. Pulling back on the prepuce and exposing the glans, while with my other hand, I dug into the opening of his pants and pulled out his sack of balls. This didn't reassure him at all.
" ‘Well, shit!' Jerry protested angrily. 'It sure ain't worth ten bucks for you to jack me off. I can do that myself-and do you have to keep chawin' away at that damn gum?'
"'Shut up and be quiet,' I snapped. 'I'm going to blow you; you'll get your money's worth-the way I do it.' I took the gum out of my mouth.
"Moving myself to a more accommodating position, I bent my head and gently began licking the sides of his penis, slowly working downward to the base. I delighted in the fact that Jerry had a fairly large cock. I don't like to work on a midget-sized peter.
"I began to lick the wrinkled and hairy skin of his testicles, now and then sucking the skin into my mouth and tenderly chewing on the warm flesh. Sighing, Jerry put his hands on my shoulders, and I knew what he was thinking: that he had well spent his ten dollars. I knew something else he was wondering: whether or not I would swallow his come, and if I didn't, would I spit it out in his father's precious car?
"Returning to his cock, I began walking my tongue, licking and nibbling along the underside of the slightly throbbing root, keeping a steady on course until I reached the head, which was now wet with fluid that dribbled through the little slit in the end. I moved my mouth over the semisphere of slick wet flesh and engulfed it completely, closing my lips tightly around-yes, around the corona. But I did not suck, not immediately. Instead, I permitted my tongue to roam all about the smooth surface, letting it linger for a moment at the pee-slit in the peak. Then I plunged down on the throbbing cock, taking as much of it into my mouth as was possible, until I felt the tip tickling and tapping at the back of my throat. Then, quickly, I withdrew, letting the prick slide from my mouth, but retaining the head to suck on. Finally I began a slow but very powerful suction, and while I mouth-pulled on the head, I put my fingers into my cunt and began to masturbate. Jerry moved his hands to my head, ail the while groaning, his prick jerking and throbbing in my mouth. I knew he was right on the verge of coming. I knew this from the way the pressure of his hands on my head increased, ail of which told me he was building up toward his peak. His groans also told me-and, specifically, the special kind of pulsation that ran throughout his organ.
"I will explain here that every time I blew the cock of a date, I always pretended I was doing it to my stepfather. Sucking Ju-Ju's peter was always my chief fantasy, had been for almost two years, even when I masturbated at home. Sometimes I even felt a little jealous of mother, because she could have his cock anytime she wanted it-all for her very own. She could suck on it, or have him shove it in her pussy, or between her tits, or even in her rear end-if she wanted it that way. Lots of times at night, I'd lie in bed and masturbate, all the while thinking of my stepfather doing ail kinds of nice things to me. In particular, I'd think of him fucking me in the mouth.
"That's what I did while I sucked Jerry, furiously finger-jabbing at my hard, tight clitoris, and thinking, daydreaming, of Ju-Ju screwing me in the mouth! I submerged myself completely in my efforts-sucking-sucking-pulling-pulling. Finally my universe became one giant cock, my entire existence centering around an eternal suck, and I became aware of Jerry's hands tightening on my head, his palms pushing against my hair.
"Jerry began to blubber. 'I-I'mm almost ready-I-I-ohhhh… OHHH! Hereee it-is! I-oh-uUhhhhhhh-huhuhuhuhuhu!'
"Like the mighty Tannhauser escaping from the enchanted Venusberg cavern, Jerry's rushing come squirted from his cock, bubbling into my anxious mouth. I hardly noticed the warm tangy taste of the stuff, too absorbed in my efforts of pulling the thick cream from his exploding cock. I swallowed furiously, taking every drop into my body as if I were depriving him of his strength, as if by swallowing his come I was gaining a new strength all my own.
"'UH-UH-UH!' Jerry groaned loudly. Pressing down on my head, he forced his vomiting prick into my mouth, more and more of it. I took it all, continuing to suck on the organ, extracting from it the final drops of his ejaculation. Then suddenly, I felt the very first ripple of my own come, a giant shudder of relief as my cunt shot to the extreme heights of emotion…
"So, I began working as a professional prostitute before I decided on letting my stepfather have first chance at my pussy. You might say I got into it by accident. One night I picked up a stranger, an older man-he must have been in his late twenties-and he took me to a cheap dive with a half dozen cabins in back of the place. The roadhouse was owned by a woman named Dolly K-, an old whore from East Saint Louis; and Bennie M-, the guy I had picked up, was not only a pimp, but a good friend of Dolly's.
"The three of us got to talking, and Dolly and Bennie found out I was hustling high-school boys. They thought this was a big joke. That's when Dolly pointed out I could make more money in one night working for her than I could in a month on my own.
"'But I'm not going to let any slob stick his cock in me!' I said. 'I don't mind blowing a man or letting him go down on me, but that's 'all.'
"That was okay with Dolly, who said I wouldn't have to fuck. She went on to say I could become what she called an 'erotic specialist' and service masochists. I didn't know what masochists were, but after she laughed and told me, J found the idea intriguing. Making men miserable appealed to me, and just thinking about it made my nipples harden and my cunt twitch.
" ‘Why, child, some men will pay as much as seventy-five dollars to have a young girl 'torture" them,' Dolly confided to me. 'You'll keep half and I'll get the other half. And there ain't nobody that bothers us out here at the W- W-.'
"It was agreed then. I would become an erotic specialist, working two nights a week in one of the cabins out back of the place, but always alternating the nights, to keep mother and Ju-Ju from getting suspicious.
"I know… you want to hear about some of my experiences at the W- W-. That's the way you psychiatrists are: you want to know every little juicy detail. Personally, I think you're all nothing but dirty old men.
"I recall very vividly the very first masochist that Dolly sent to me, a bald-headed man who must have been in his fifties. I made him take off all his clothes and kneel down before me. Jeez! He was one hell of a sight! He had a big pot gut and a lot of big veins in his legs, and his cock, which got hard almost instantly, wasn't more than twice the size of my thumb.
"I kept on my red domino mask and my knee-length boots (Dolly had coached me very carefully and I was more than an attentive pupil!), but very slowly I removed the rest of my clothing, until finally I was stark-naked and my cunt was only a foot or so from the slob's mouth. But I didn't let him suck me, not then, wanting to make him suffer from longing. The damn fool had a look of sheer bliss on his face-like a newly arrived soul in heaven, getting its first glimpse of God! But I guess paradise is having complete faith in something, and this poor jerk sure had faith in me.
"With my hands on my hips, I stood there, staring down at the freak. 'Okay, Pops, what do you want me to use on you?' I purred. 'I've got whips, paddles, even clubs and chains. You name it, Dad. I've got it. You want me to tie you up before I beat hell out of you? Come on, swine, I've not got all day to wait while you make up your mind.' I put both my feet on his hands, which were spread out on the floor.
"Baldy shook his head, the top of which was dotted with sweat. 'No,' he croaked. 'I don't care for any bondage. But a whip-a whip will do fine.'
"I noticed that his stomach was very white and smooth, and suddenly I wanted to kick it. I went into another room and got a brown leather whip, the kind you use at race tracks. Christ! It was a wicked-looking thing, and after I returned to Baldy and began swishing it through the air, flexing my arm, I hated to think of how it would feel if someone whacked it over my butt!
"It was amazing! Absolutely fantastic I Kneeling there, Baldy stared at the whip, his eyes filled with fear and horror. ‘I know,' I said smugly. 'You are dying to know what I am going to do to you, aren't you? But you don't dare ask-and do you know why?'
"The poor bastard shook his head-automatically, like a robot.
"'One part of you is saying run before the pain starts,' I hissed. 'But the other part of you won't even let your feet move. You're drawn to me and actually want the pain I'm going to give you. Isn't that right, you fuckin' freak?'
"Yes, yes!" Again his head nodded.
"'And call me your Most Noble and Divine Mistress,' I snapped. 'Now, you lump of rotten manure, tell me why you need pain-and don't you dare lie to me!'
"His words poured out of him, almost as if he were relieved to tell me, as if he were confessing a deep, dark secret. 'I-I exist… It's a paradox. I abhor the pain, but still I must have it in order to get a hard on and keep it. I hate the pain and yet am drawn to it. That is the way I've been for almost three years, ever since June died. She was my wife and it was my fault that she died in an automobile accident. I killed her. It was my fault. I was driving the car. Since then, I-I've been almost completely impotent as regards normal intercourse. I-I don't like pain, but must have it.'
"The poor nutty son of a bitch! 'All right, Pops,' I snapped. 'Flat on your face. I haven't got all night to fuck around with you.'
"The nut fell to his face, pressing his chest and belly to the floor, his chin touching the worn carpet. 'Oh please, Most Noble and Divine Mistress, have mercy-oh please have mercy on me!' he pleaded, his voice almost a whine. But as Dolly had clued me, this was how the sadist-masochist game was played.
"'Beg for the whip, you bastard,' I snarled, trying to sound cruel, but wanting to laugh. Honestly, I tell you, Baldy was one pathetic sight!
" ‘Call me swine!' he pleaded. 'PLEASE! Make me-suffer!'
"I spread my legs, enjoying myself to the fullest and taking a stance of domination.
" ‘You're a swine!' I screamed at him. I figured I might as well give the nut his money's worth! 'You're a no-good low swine that eats shit-and your mother was a dirty no-good cocksucker! Isn't that right! Now, does that make you feel humiliated?'
" ‘Oh yes, yes!' he quickly agreed. ‘I feel so-so ashamed. I-‘
"'Say it, swine! ADMIT IT!' I yelled at him, raising my whip. 'SAY IT!'
" I'm a-low swine-that eats shit-and my mother -my mother was a cocksucker. OHHHH, I feel soooo degraded. Oh, Divine Mistress-mercy, please, PLEASE!'
"'And you deserve to be whipped, don't you?' I suddenly found, to my astonishment, I was perspiring profusely, that sweat had formed puddles in my armpits and was trickling down my sides. I was also becoming sexually excited-and I could hardly wait until his tongue would shoot into my cunt.
"'Yes, yes,' the old fool cried, looking up to me as best he could from his position on the floor. 'I deserved to be punished, to be whipped. Whip me, please-whip me!'
"I began walking around the poor pathetic freak- and then I Said it on him, striking downward with the whip-once, twice, three times-slashing his shoulders and back, his buttocks and the back of his thighs. I loved whipping him, seeing the red-purple welts that rose instantly on his dead-white body, long streaks of agony marks that ran crazily in all directions. He moaned and cried, blubbered and sobbed in what had to be sheer agony and, at the same time, sheer ecstasy.
"Again and again I sliced my whip cruelly into his soft flabby flesh, its tip cutting him like a blue-hot knife, and when I finally finished, after five minutes or so, poor Baldy was a bloody mess. I stood there, breathing hard and looking down at him. I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror that hung on the wall and saw, to my surprise, that my face was a mask of pleasure, my mouth frozen in a fixed smile.
"Baldy began crawling around on the floor, moaning and groaning, like some kind of snake. Jeez! He was one hideous sight, his back and butt a mass of bloody welts. I stood there, frozen in fascination, fingering my cunt. I sure had the hots for his tongue, but I remembered what Dolly had told me: Play it out! Make a freak suffer physically and mentally.
"Then Baldy surprised me by saying, 'Your foot, Noble and Most Divine Mistress.' He groaned. "Ohhhh, the pain, the pai-nnnn.'
" ‘What about my foot, you hunk of blubber!' I snarled.
'Let me love your foot. Please. I-I must love your foot…'
"Was he a nut? Yes, he was. 'Very well, swine,' I said in a low voice, throwing the whip to the floor. Then I relaxed and began smiling as he began kissing the instep of my right boot, licking it, rubbing his lips tenderly over the highly polished leather.
"'All right, you son of a bitch,' I snarled in pseudoanger. Take my boot off and tongue-wash my foot. And you'd better do a good job or I'll shove ground glass into your asshole!'
"Trembling and shaking like a leaf in a tornado, the nut complied with my demand and soon his tongue was slobbering over my foot, probing between each toe, licking the sole and instep. Then, once more the goof-ball surprised me by saying, or rather, begging in a high whine, 'Please, Noble and Divine Goddess, beat me some more. I-I have been bad. I-I must be punished!'
"I laughed in the poor fool's face, grinning like a she-devil. Actually, the more I tortured him, the more I enjoyed it. I shook my head and spit out at him, 'Sorry, swine. Before we continue, you've got to eat my pussy and make me come. Then, if you do a real groovy job of hair-pie eating, I'll give you some more of my sweet whip.' I put my foot on his shoulder and pushed him over on his back, causing him to groan loudly as the rough rug ground into his whip cuts.
"'The choice is yours, Pops. Make up your sick and silly mind.'
"The slob nodded dumbly, and quickly I got to the bed, where, for a half hour or so, he sucked my cunt, as well as licked my asshole. I tell you! I must have had two dozen comes! But finally I had enough, so I got off the bed and commanded him to hand me the whip. 'Very well, you pot-gutted swine, now you can have your climax, but only if you do as I tell you. You understand that?'
"Without my telling him to do so, the damn fool knelt before me. 'Yes, yes. I'll do anything you say, oh noble lady,' he croaked.
"The whole scene was weird. Way out… I won't go into it.
"After some months of working as an erotic specialist-a sadist-at The W- W- arid getting my pussy sucked regularly-because I always made my clients eat my box-I began wanting a cock inside of me, in my cunt. But the trouble was that my pride wouldn't permit me to let one of those freaks grab off my cherry. No, sir! No pain lover was going to have a cherry harvest with me, because I was determined to give my virginity to a man who deserved it, a good man, a very special man, a man who would appreciate it. At the same time, I knew I couldn't wait until I was married. Why, that was years away! But I knew I had to do something. Burning up in need and desperation, I was masturbating myself silly, and a man's tongue simply couldn't do the job. I suppose that statement is rather ambiguous, considering that I had no way of comparing a cock to a tongue, since I had never had a peter inside me.
"Then one night the answer to my dilemma came to me in a dream, when I dreamt that my stepfather was fucking me. With pounding heart and sizzling pussy, I woke up, instinctively knowing that I had found the answer: I'd get Ju-Ju to fuck me. It was all so rights so wonderful and perfect and only sensible that it should be he who would get my cherry. He loved me and I loved him. What better man deserved it? I knew something else, too: I'd have to seduce him. But-how? I decided to watch and wait and bide my time… Sooner or later, I'd get my chance. I was determined. Within months, if not sooner, I'd have my stepfather's prick inside my cunt… "
It is evident in Paula's case that we are dealing with the results of more than one abnormality, namely a severe Electra complex, since it is complicated by her sadomasochism, although this latter aberrancy had no direct motivational bearing on her decision to seduce her stepfather into sexual intercourse; nevertheless, we must consider this element of sadomasochism, since it is an integral part of Paula's libido, of the fertile soil so vital to the growing of warped and twisted sexuality.
It is necessary to say that sexual abnormality never develops suddenly; it develops slowly, over a period of years, from a background of complex factors which, working in unison with each other, combine to produce the aberration. And it did not develop overnight in Paula T-.
At this point we will do well to refresh our memory with an explanation of the Oedipus complex, the counterpart of which, in girls, is called the Electra complex. Reduced to its simplest explanation, the Electra complex is the incestuous desire of the daughter for sexual relations with the father. Extended to greater analysis, the Electra wish means that, with the transference of the child-penis wish on to her father, the girl enters into the situation of the Electra complex. "This means that she associates her lack of a penis with her father's having one; this, in turn, creates hostility against her mother, who, receiving everything from the father that the girl wants, including his penis, now becomes a rival.
The girl's Electra complex long conceals the pre-Oedipus attachment to her mother, which is so important and which leaves behind it such lasting fixations. For the girl, the Electra complex is the conclusion of a long and difficult period of development; it is a kind of temporary solution of her problems, and a state of equilibrium which is not lightly to be given up, especially as the onset of the latency period is not far off.
It is here that we notice a difference between the two sexes in the relation between the Oedipus complex and the castration complex, a difference which is probably a momentous one. The boy's Oedipus complex, in which he desires his mother, and wants to get rid of his father as a rival, develops naturally out of the phase of phallic sexuality. The threat of castration, however, forces him to give up this attitude. Under the influence of the danger of losing his penis, he abandons his Oedipus complex; it becomes repressed and, in the most normal cases, entirely destroyed, while a severe superego (or conscience) is set up as its heir. ‘What happens in the case of a girl is almost the opposite. The castration complex prepares the way for the Oedipus situation (the Electra wish) instead of destroying it, and what happens is this: Under the influence of her penis-envy the girl is driven from her attachment to her mother, and enters the Electra situation as though it were a haven of refuge. When the fear of castration disappears, the primary motive is removed, which has forced the boy to overcome his Oedipus complex, but the girl remains in the Oedipus (Electra) situation for an indefinite period, only abandoning it late in life, and then completely. The formation of the superego must suffer in these circumstances, which, in part, explains why some women can be so utterly and completely ruthless.
How does all this apply to Paula, the subject of our case study? It is obvious that most teenage girls want things their parents cannot afford, or, for whatever reason, do not want them to have; yet, the average girl does not turn to sexual promiscuity in order to acquire these things. She doesn't for one very good reason: the factors necessary for promiscuity are not present in her psychosexual makeup. These factors were present in Paula T.; one factor was more than strong enough to subjugate the superego: an intense Electra complex which quickly manifested itself in Paula's desire for material gain.
Without knowing it, without realizing it, Paula was not fellating or being cunnilingued by dates; she was having oral relations with her stepfather, the man who represented to her, emotionally and subconsciously, a real biologic father. Her own words give evidence to this fact: "He loved me and I loved him." Almost as if -at least to Paula-they were lovers! Her words also indicate the strength of the complex, which, after growing in strength, finally could insinuate itself into her ego (and/or consciousness).
Thus we see that Paula's promiscuity, her high-school whoredom, and later her activities at the W- W-, were merely a prelude to the full-blown realization of her Electra complex, expressing itself at its peak in her conscious determination to seduce her stepfather.
How does Paula's sadomasochism fit into this complex framework of abnormality? Was she actually, subconsciously, punishing her stepfather when she beat and whipped and tortured her clients?
For an explanation, we first must regress a little to the works of Freud. Discussing sexuality in general, Freud says, in Beyond the Pleasure Principle: "From the very start we recognized the presence of a sadistic component in the sexual instinct… later, the sadistic instinct separates off, and finally, at the stage of genital primacy, it takes on, for the purposes of reproduction, the function of overpowering the sexual object to the extent necessary for carrying out the sexual act."
Here we see how Freud identifies sadism with destructive and death instincts. He also points out that in the sexual act these instincts are subordinated to Eors in order to secure control of the subject of the search-the love object. Writes Freud: "It may be assumed that the impulse of cruelty arises from the instinct for mastery and appears at a period of seual life at which the genitals have not taken over their later role.'
In The Ego and the Id, Freud repeats this idea, but this time insists on the importance of Instinctual disfusion: Says he: "The sadistic component of the sexual instinct would be a classical example of a serviceable instinctual fusion. Making a swift generalization, we might conjecture that the essence of a libido lies in the disfusion of instincts."
We mention this background to the formation of generalized sadomasochism in women as a foundation to the explanation of Paula's origin of sadism and her enjoyment of cruelty.
No, Paula was not "torturing" her stepfather when she "serviced" a masochistic client. Her sadism was merely a by-product of her Electra complex, an intensification of Electra to express itself, to free itself from bondage, from the imprisonment of the id. In beating her clients, Paula was partially achieving her goal-on a subconscious level, of course-which was to have intercourse with her father.
A note of caution to the reader. It must not be thought that all unresolved complexes, Electra and otherwise, express themselves in sadomasochism. The production of sadomasochism depends on many factors and the strength of their intensification, of which Oedipus/Electra is only one, as well as other motivations which, at present, are not fully understood (and too complicated to discuss in this short work); nor does an unresolved Electra complex invariably result in conscious desire for incestuous sexual contact. It seldom does, the superego usually succeeding in completely repressing such desires.
Psychosomatic (or pure psychogenic) illness is by far the most common mode of unresolved Electra expression-various phobias and compulsions, and/or conversion symptoms (such as the famous backache or "sick headache," as well as hundreds-literally-of other body symptoms). However, symptoms may also arise from guilt over the Electra situation. Here we find that when the superego is as powerful as the unresolved Electra desire (or perhaps even more powerful), guilt can be the result, with the desire of the conscience (now in deadly and unrelenting conflict with Electra) being to expiate what it feels to be the monstrous sin of incest; for to superego, the desire is as bad as the commission of the act itself.
We cannot pass over this lightly, as a girl's guilt toward her father does not interfere merely with her sexual life (perhaps even to the extent of frigidity-or female homosexuality) but extends to her achievements in other fields if they take on an unconscious phallic significance. Inhibition related to this guilt seems to me chiefly responsible for woman's place in culture and society today. Psychoanalysts have noticed that Oedipal guilt, linked to the guilt of surpassing the mother, is associated in many intellectual, professional, and creative activities with a feeling of guilt toward the father, a guilt which is specifically feminine. Indeed, it has been found that in patients suffering from chronic headaches their guilt over surpassing their parents on an intellectual level was usually linked to the father, particularly in female patients. For both sexes successful intellectual activity is the unconscious equivalent of possessing the penis. For women this means they have the father's penis and have thus dispossessed the mother-the Oedipal drama. In addition, they have also castrated the father.
But only very rarely does the Electra complex lead its possessor to consciously desiring sexual contact with the parent. And when it does? Then we have a girl or woman who becomes utterly ruthless in her desire to have contact not with a sexual father-figure but with the father himself.
This is precisely what happened in the case of Paula T-.
You may wonder how I intended to go about seducing my stepfather. I wondered, too! I wondered quite a bit, until I began to think very seriously about the problem. After a good deal of analyzing, I suddenly realized that all I would have to do was make myself available and catch Ju-Ju at just the right moment, when mother wasn't around. I suppose that's silly to say that-about mother, I mean. He, could hardly screw me while she was present, could he? I'd just have to wait and pick the right moment. I had no choice. I could hardly walk up to my stepfather and say, 'Gee, gosh, dear old Dad. I sure wish you'd stick your in me!'
"Naturally, I knew I'd need a lot of good old-fashioned luck, in spite of my awareness that I had something else going for me-pure sex! Instinctively, I realized that any normal man could not help but be attracted, sexually, to a good-looking, shaped-up teenage girl. I'm not saying that a normal man goes out looking for a young pussy to fuck; I'm just saying that he'd like to.
"That's where parents goof about their teenage daughters: they think the sweet young things don't have any sexual feelings! HA! Take me, for instance! While I always acted like a superdedicated vestal virgin around my parents, I never missed for a moment the way my stepfather sometimes looked at me, the longing he had in his eyes, the way his hot gaze undressed me and roamed hungrily over my body. Often I wanted to laugh out loud when I thought of how 'immature' mother and Ju-Ju considered me, and reflected on how he often looked at me.
"I suppose I am making my stepfather look like a dirty old man. I don't mean to, and I don't want you to get the impression that he leered after me or was the kind of father who tried to get in his ‘feelies' when mother wasn't looking. It was just the exact opposite. Why, I don't think the poor man was.even conscious of how he looked at me, nor realized that he had the hots for me. Oh, I suppose he knew, in the sense that he was aware of my sexual attractiveness; but I don't think he ever toyed with the idea of doing anything. That sort of worried me! For my purpose, it would have been easier if he had wanted to screw me. But because he didn't, or rather, because he wasn't doing anything about it, I knew I would have to make his desire for me overpower his conscience.
"My chance came sooner than I had expected-one Saturday afternoon in July, when I was sunbathing in a bikini in the backyard. Mother had left that morning to work in the bakery, which was not the usual procedure for her* because Saturday was her day off. But another employee was sick, and mother had to work in her place. That's why I was wearing my bikini, because mother, not being at home, could not disapprove.
"My stepfather had also left earlier in the day, to see about a job with a construction company which was laying a pipeline on the edge of town. Ju-Ju came home that afternoon, about two; and when I rushed into the house-thinking that now was my chance, since mother was away-I saw immediately, to my surprise, that he had been drinking. Ordinarily, my stepfather was not a drinking man, but as he explained, he had gotten the job and had stopped at a bar to celebrate-not that he was stoned, only feeling no pain.
"Exuberantly, I flung myself against him, pressing my breasts and loins firmly against him, knowing what my action had to trigger in him.
" ‘Oh, Ju-Ju,' I cooed in my professional virgin's voice. ‘I'm so happy you got the job. But you've been drinking, and mother won't like that.'
"He smiled crazily, and his arms went out as if to encircle me; then he stopped, as if remembering that I was eighty percent naked, with only a thin bit of cloth across my tits and nothing more than what amounted to a small handkerchief covering my pussy and rear.
" ‘I've-I've brought you a present,' Ju-Ju said, stepping back, reaching into his pocket, and handing me a small gift-wrapped package. The gift was only a cheap bead necklace, but I was overjoyed with it-loving him all the more for his thoughtful ness. I saw his eyes dart to my breasts, then to my belly, then on down to my legs, and I knew I had his juices boiling, I also knew I'd have to initiate the action, if there was going to be any. I knew I had him going, could tell from the way he breathed and from the way his cock was beginning to bulge through his pants. And it was plain to see that his face was burning hotly from heat-and I don't mean from the July temperature either! It was also obvious that he was on the verge of taking me into his arms!
"'Thank you for the gift,' I purred. "It's a fine necklace and I'll keep it as long as I live. Honest I will,' Looking directly into his eyes, I added softly. 'You're such a wonderful man. You're so good to me. I only wish I could do something-something very special- in return.'
"Ju-Ju averted his eyes from mine and swallowed uncomfortably. It seemed to me that he didn't know what to do with his hands. He said in a strained voice. 'Yes. Well, I-I had thought of getting you a new LF or perhaps a good book, one we could both read, but I didn't have the money, and… ‘
"'Why don't you pretend I'm a book, Ju-Ju,' I said throatily, looking directly at him. Til bet you'd do a marvelous job reading me. I just know you'd not skip any of the words, and do a real neat job on the fine print.'
"My poor stepfather! He looked as if he were fighting a desperate battle within himself, a fight he had to lose, either way. If he fucked me, his conscience would lose. If he didn't, his prick would go down in defeat.
"Deliberately, I dropped the necklace to the floor, and when Ju-Ju stopped to pick it up, I unfastened the lower part of my bikini and let it drop to my feet, saying sexily, 'Why don't you wet your finger and begin turning the pages?'
"That did it! Conscience lost the battle, and my poor, darling stepfather could no longer resist. Breathing heavily, he stared at my cunt; then, without a word, and beginning at my ankles, he ran his fingers slowly but quite firmly upward, to my knees, up to the outside of my thighs, and on to the starting flare of my butt. Then down to the inside of my thighs, until his thumbs made contact with the little fat lobes of my cunt lips. Spreading my legs slightly, I sighed faintly and a quick tremor ran through me, then a tremendous shiver as his finger slipped into my pussy and began probing.
" 'Ahhh, Ju-Ju-that makes me feel good ail over,' I moaned, and I meant it. For he was not a simple-minded customer at the W- W-, or like those stupid high-school boys I had dated. He was the man I loved, and his finger worked sheer magic in my cunt. ‘0hhh, that's neat, Ju, the way you're doing it.' I moaned, taking off my bra and tossing it to the floor. Trembling, he paused and looked up at me.
"'We-your mother! We shouldn't be doing this!* he croaked.
"'We've already begun,' I whispered. 'Besides, Mother will never know.'
"Having discovered my naked breasts, Ju-Ju didn't argue with my perverted reasoning. Instead, he dropped to one knee and, leaning forward, kissed my nearest nipple; then, after hearing my sigh of pleasure, he began to suck firmly on it. Bending my legs and reaching down, I felt of his peter through his pants. It was as hard as iron! Ju-Ju drew back and stared at me in astonishment, his mouth almost wide open.
"'What's the matter?' I asked, frowning. 'Don't you want me to-see it?'
"Wordlessly, my stepfather got to his feet and undid the fly of his pants, his eyes on my face. My fingers were trembling uncontrollably as I reached in through the slit of his shorts and pulled out his prick. My face must have had an expression of sheer ecstasy as I let out a protracted 'ohhhhhh,' and said, 'You've got such a beautiful peter-and so-so big!' His cock was big, but I'd seen bigger. Naturally I couldn't tell him that! After all, I was supposed to be a Virgin.'
"I gazed in rapture at his cock, delighting in how he began squirming as he became hotter and hotter. Then I reached into his shorts and pulled out his nuts. I figured that now was the time to let him know what I wanted; otherwise, he might just play around without poking me. I skinned back his cock and patted his balls.
"'Oh, Ju-Ju, you do want us to fuck, don't you?' I whispered. 'I've never been laid before!' And that was the truth. I suppose I'd been sucked a couple of hundred times and must have gone down on that many peters, but I still had not had a peter in me! 'I've been -fingered by boys. But I've never had a cock inside me, You are going to fuck me, aren't you, Daddy dear?'
"The poor man didn't know what to say, my question having come too quickly for him, no doubt putting all kind of confusion in his mind. 'I-I-if you want me to!* he finally said. 'But how can we? I-'
"I didn't give him time to finish, nor perhaps change his mind. 'I'll play with it awhile first.' I whispered, squeezing his prick as if it were a sponge.
" 'Go ahead,' he said excitedly. 'Play with it; pretend you're rubbing suntan oil on it. Ahhh, honey, that's the way to do it.'
"Uh-huh! He knew what the score was! Giving him a sly smile, I began, very expertly, to masturbate him, my hand sliding up and down his hot, hard member. Then he made me stop, panting. ‘Na more! Not now, or I'll come. But how can we fuck? I don't have any rubbers, and we can't take the chance of-'
"'I've got some,' I said. T got them from a girl friend.' Standing up, I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him fully on the lips. In turn, he crushed me to him, pushing his tongue into my mouth and bringing up a hand to knead my tits. And when he finally released me, I urged, 'Let's go to my room and do it, Daddy. No one will bother us there, and we can fuck all we want.'
"I didn't have to ask him a second time!
"Once we were in my bedroom, Ju-Ju removed his own clothing, and, sighing, took me into his arms, holding me very tightly to his own nakedness, his cock digging into my guts, his hands roaming over my ass, my tits, and my smooth, flat stomach. Kissing the lobe of my ear and fingering my butthole, he whispered. 'Don't be afraid, honey. I'll be very gentle with you.'
"I played along with him. I'm not afraid. I know you won't hurt me.'
"Then he led me to the bed and I lay down on my back, while Ju-Ju knelt by the side. Very tenderly, he began kissing my body. Beginning at my feet, he Set his mouth play along my legs, up to my thighs, but past my cunt, on up to my navel, which he tongued and kissed for a long time, increasing the wild desire screaming within my body. His lips next found my hard nipples that quivered hot and desperately within the warm wetness of his sucking mouth. Then he whispered, 'Tarn over on your stomach, my little honey.'
"I did so, and his lips began gliding along the ridge of my backbone, moving downward until they were moving within the dark valley between my buttocks. He found my brown-hole, and ever so gently began to lick it, making me sigh with supreme pleasure. He began kissing the back of my legs, high up where the flesh was soft and very pliable, pushing his tongue down hard between them. But I knew he could never reach his goal until I turned over on my back and opened my legs wide for him. I did so, at the same time murmuring, 'Ah, Daddy, fuck me with your tongue! Suck me off like you do Mother. Make me come with your mouth!'
"Yes, yes, I will,' he gasped. I'll do it now!'
"Crawling between my thighs, he parted my cunt lips with his thumbs, doing so very gently, then ducked his head down and inserted his tongue, puckering it, permitting it to roll freely. I suppose he sensed the excited tissue becoming fervid from the fast flow of hot blood. He curved his hands around the twin globes of my buttocks and easily slipped a finger into my bunghole. I groaned loudly and quietly began to go out of my mind. Literally throwing my thighs up over his shoulders, I squeezed his cheeks and ears so crushingly that I doubt if he could hear my moans and sighs of pure lust. 'Ahhhhhh, suck me, Daddy… SUCK MEeeeeeeee!'
"Ju-Ju-I had to admit-certainly knew his business! Having created the necessary vacuum, he began a steady sucking action on my clitoris, along with his tongue, rolling it over and around the ultrasensitive little man in the boat. My fingers began digging into his forearms and I squeezed my thighs tighter to him, Ahhhh, how my stepfather could eat pussy! Writhing from side to side, I felt a vast bubbling building within my cunt; it had begun when Ju-Ju and I kissed downstairs, and had continued to grow,-to build all out of proportion as I lay on the bed. Now-as Ju-Ju sucked me-it exploded. Violent waves of supreme satisfaction flooded my body, pleasure so intense that it was almost painful!
" ‘OHHHHH!' I cried, almost screaming. 'I'm com-inggggg. Suck itttttttt!' Ju-Ju stabbed at me with his tongue, wanting me, in his kindness, to have the greatest come ever. I clawed at him, twisted and rolled on the bed, hunching up my hips in order to get more of my cunt into his mouth. However, no come can last forever, and finally I relaxed, releasing my stepafther's head from my legs. 'Did I taste good?' I asked with a mischievous little smile. 'Does my cunt taste as good as Mother's?'
"Ju-Ju raised himself, his lips dripping with my pussy juices. 'Better,' he said, wiping his mouth on the sheet. 'You've got a sweet taste, but I suppose that's because you're so young.' He stretched out beside me on the bed, then asked in a low voice, 'Will you-will you do that to me? I mean, would you mind if-'
"I smiled secretly at his discomfort-the poor darling. 'You want me to suck you, Ju-Ju? You want me to go down on your cock?'
"'Yes, yes! Kiss me all over!'
"Scooting up close to him, I began duplicating what he had done to me. Tenderly, I kissed his mouth and neck; my tongue flicked across his chest and tortured his nipples. Then I walked it downward, paused at his waist, skidded across his stomach, and hesitated at the eight-inch pillar of hard flesh rising from his crotch. For a few moments I gazed at the lovely fucker, hearing Ju-Ju pant, Tut it in your mouth, honey. Give me a good suck.'
"Moving my mouth closer to his peter, I took hold of it just below the head-I mean that spot where the head pops out of the prick proper. Then I moved on down over his cock, until at least half of it was buried in my mouth, the end of the head poking at the archway between my tonsils. Quickly I let it all slide from my mouth, except for the head, around which I firmly closed my lips, at the same time, licking and sucking. I could feel Ju-Ju watching me, bug-eyed at my proficiency in cock-sucking. I could only surmise as to what he might be thinking as he stared at the way my lips were stretched to an enlarged O and at how my cheeks were deeply dimpled. I suppose his curiosity finally got the best of him, because he asked in a somewhat awed voice, 'Have you ever done this before, Paula? You're so good at sucking on a peter!'
"Raising my mouth from the head of his cock, I replied-telling one of the biggest lies of my life, ‘No, this is the first time. I read how to do it in a book on marriage.'
"I went back down on him, this time taking all of his prick into my mouth, to the extent that his pubic hair tickled against my lips and chin like a little brown beard! Now I would finish him off and make the good cream roll! Furiously, I began moving my mouth up and down over his inflamed organ, all the while sucking and licking, and at the same time squeezing his balls.
"Quite suddenly he surprised me by pushing at my head with his hands and mumbling, "No, no more… Fm going to come… ‘
"Raising my mouth I bluntly told him the facts of life. ‘I want you to. So go ahead and shoot.' Before he could push my mouth away from his succulent all-day sucker, I once more devoured it, this time giving him a big suck pulling at the head of his peter with all the strength I could muster. Ju-Ju-poor confused dear!-didn't resist. He didn't do anything. He just lay back and enjoyed it, his mouth working like a fish's, his eyes staring at the red and blue and green flowers of the ceiling's wallpaper, little choking sounds sliding from his throat. We were both covered with sweat and the room seemed very hot.
"I felt it then, that precome signal that always sizzles through a man's peter a split second before his hose opens up-that sudden feeling of expansion, of an acute awareness that something violent yet wonderful is about to happen; I felt his nuts quiver and palpitate for several rapturous seconds like excited heartbeats. I gave the head a gigantic suck-and got it! Ju-Ju shot off, flooding my mouth with the creation of life, with a thick stream of soup that taxed all my ability to swallow; nevertheless, I didn't lose a single drop, and continued to suck until his peter began to jerk and die into softness…
"Ju-Ju and I lay side-by-side in each other's arms, he sucking my breasts and fingering my cunt, I playing with his cock and balls, giving him another erection, And when his cock felt like a small rolling pin, I suggested that he put on a rubber and fuck me, all the while pretending some ignorance as to how the act would be accomplished.
"I didn't expect him to chicken out as he raised his mouth from one of my wet nipples and stared shamefacedly at me. 'My God, Paula! Do you realize what we're doing? I've-this is-is incest! Why, your mother could have me tossed into the pen for life-and she'd never forgive you! Maybe we had better stop before it's too late.'
"Annoyed, I said, 'What do you mean-"before it's too late"? We've come this far and I don't see any sense in stopping now! Mother could also have you thrown into the pokey for eating my box; so you might as well be behind bars for fucking me, too!' I added, feeling sorry for him, and genuinely afraid that he might back down, 'Quit worrying. Mother will never know. After all, who's to tell her? You can't and I certainly can't.'
" ‘I suppose you're right,' Ju-Ju said nervously, ‘but do you think-you think you can take my cock? It looks awfully big to fit in such a small hole.'
"There's only one way to find out,' I laughed, getting off the bed, I went to the dresser and, after getting a rubber, returned to the bed. With little difficulty, I slipped the rubber over his erect peter, leaving a little pocket in the end for his come. Quickly I lay down on my back and opened my thighs. 'All right, Daddy,' I said. 'Take my cherry. Fuck me. You'll never have a better chance.'
"Ju-Ju eased himself between my anxious legs, and put one hand next to me, while, with his other hand, he pressed the head of his peter against my moist slit. I knew my clit was swollen and I could feel my pulses pounding. Ju-Ju kept exerting a slow but steady pressure and gradually my genitals stretched and absorbed his organ, the pressure from the insertion intense, yet without any actual pain. When the head and perhaps an inch or two were in me, Ju-Ju paused in his efforts and stared at me, a perplexed look on his good-looking face.
" ‘What's-the matter?' I cried, fearing that he have had an attack of conscience and had changed his mind.
"'You-the way you look!' Ju-Ju whispered, 'Like you're on the verge of coming!'
"'It's so good,' I panted. 'It feels so wonderful-but hurry up! Get it all in… ‘
"He continued to push his peter into my tight, fresh cunt-and the more he shoved, the hotter I became, my hands alternately grabbing and releasing his shoulders. I found myself repeating, ‘Oh! Oh! Oh!"' over and over, in a whispered hiss, and trying to help him along by wriggling my loins up at him, in an attempt to 'crawl' my cunt over and around his cock.
"'UHhh,' Ju-Ju. grunted, forcing more of his root in my snatch. Oh, God, it was good! The way his cock felt inside me! Huge! Vast! A feeling that was simply indescribable! Then I felt his balls pushing against my lower buttocks! Ahhhhh, at long last… 'Oh! Da-dee-ee-e! It's-all-the-w-way-in! Ohhh-ohohohoh! I love you, I-love you! Quick-k-kiss me! Kiss me!'
"After he kissed me, Ju-Ju Daddy began fucking me -entering and withdrawing alternately-varying the speed of his thrusts-grinding and lurching-forcing me into a frenzy of excitement. I flung my legs over the small of his back, locking myself to him by crossing my ankles and throwing my arms tightly around his neck.
" ‘OH-hhh, Daddy-yyy-the way your cock's t-tickling-m-me!* I murmured. 'Fuck me! F-F-U-C-K Me! me-m-me comeeeee!'
" ‘You-lovely-little-bitch!' he grunted. 'Your s-so-so tight! Smaller than-your mother's asshole-even. You-you like the way I'm doing it t-to-you?'
"Yes, especially-when-you-you-take-those long-h-hard strokes. That-that-m-makes my snot-boober-feel g-great!'
"'Like this? Uhhhhh-your-cunt's-good! Your snot-boober! You mean-mean-your-clittt.'
"I moaned from the pleasure of his long thrust. 'Y-Yes, that's-what-what-I m-mean… OHHH! That's the way, D-Daddy! F-Fuck me-fuck me HARD!"
"I began reacting to Ju-Ju's every effort, milking his shaft of flesh like an experienced woman who had been fucking for years, by lowering my hips each time he withdrew and by drawing my pussy muscles tight over the head of his prick, as if trying to drain every measure of pleasure from his moving cock.
"Ju-Ju had his arms locked tightly around my waist, the moist palms of his hands pressing against the flattened flesh of my buttocks. For some time, his finger had been lying in my crack, and now he pushed it into my butt-hole, after which he began a circular movement, giving me more pleasure and causing me to moan softly.
"Wondering, I asked him, 'Am-I as good-a-piece as-as Mother?'
"'Better,' he panted. 'But I-I can't-h-hold-off- much longer… You-you-about-r-ready…?'
"'Y-Yessss, but-but fuck me faster, D-Daddy.'
"Ju-Ju began to move faster within me, rising slightly above me! Maybe he wanted to watch my head rolling from side to side. 'Now,' he whispered frantically. 'NOW-c-come with me!'
"'Uhhh-golly-my-my snot-boober's g-going cra-zy-I-‘
"A giant bomb of sexual energy exploded within me, sending my hips into a violent frenzy! Like a maniac I began meeting Ju-Ju's violent thrusts, my pleasure intensified by his finger in my hind end, now masturbating my rectum.
"'I-I'M-C-C-COM-lNGGGGGG! C-Comin g-GGGgggggg!' I yelled-my joy so great I almost wanted to die from it. OHHHH! Was fucking the keen-est, the greatest, the grooviest EVER!
"I just kept coming and coming, and when I felt Ju-Ju's own soup slicing within me, jumping from his gurgling cock, I came even more! However, there is a limit to human effort, and gradually the ecstasy died and dwindled, leaving me and Ju-Ju panting and lying in each other's arms. I smiled secretly to myself. I had succeeded. I had seduced my stepfather; I had given him my cherry.
"That was only the first fuck between my stepfather and me. From then on, he and I screwed up a tornado every chance we got, every time Mother wasn't around, doing all sorts of wonderful things to each other. Ju-Ju didn't have to use a rubber either, because I began taking birth control pills. We certainly had ourselves a ball!
"Sometimes we'd lap-fuck. Ju-Ju would sit on a chair and I, crawling over his lap, would screw myself down over his peter, spearing myself on his hard thing. At other times, we'd do a sixty-nine. We did all sorts of nice things to each other. I especially loved it when my stepfather screwed me between my tits, or did it to me dog-fashion while I leaned over a chair.
"Ju-Ju even got to screwing me in the asshole. I got the idea one night while Mother was visiting her sister across town and Ju-Ju and I were making love. I said, 'Ju-Ju Daddy, why don't you fuck me in the behind? You like to do it that way with Mother. Why don't we try it.'
"He was all for the idea, but rather skeptical. 'Do you think we can?' he asked. 'After all, while I'm not built like the Jolly Green Giant, I'm not a midget either.'
"I told him that we could at least try, explaining that he could slicken up his peter with vaseline, and grease up my bung with his finger, all of which should enable him to work his fucker into my rectum. I was more than anxious to try this method of fucking.
" ‘All right,' Ju-Ju said lustfully. Til get the vaseline.'
"I got to the side of the bed, on the floor, on my hands and knees, and pulled my ass cheeks apart, while Ju-Ju greased his peter. Presently, I felt his gooey finger working into my rectum. I grunted from his entry, although there was no actual pain, only a kind of erotic feeling that made my cunt quiver and my nipples harden. Finally, my stepfather withdrew his finger and said, 'I'm going to shove my cock in. Get set.'
"Then I felt his prick poking between my buttocks, the hard head of his cock tapping at my asshole; with a swift intake of air, I tensed, preparing for his entry.
"Ju-Ju hesitated, uncertain. 'Should I-you want me to continue?'
"Passion made my voice tremble. 'Go ahead. Shove it in my asshole.'
"Ju-Ju began twisting the head of his peter into me, thrusting and working it.in a circular motion. My God! It felt like he was trying to shove a telephone pole in me! 'UGhhhhh!' I gasped, my hands clutching at the side of the bed, my mind locked to the heacTwhich was forcing its way into my asshole. Ju-Ju paused.
"'It's all right,' I gasped. 'Go on and-and pushhh -it in.'
"Ju-Ju continued to twist his cock into my rectum, his movements quicker.
"Little darts of flashing pain began spreading within my hirid end; yet-much to my surprise-it was not an actual pain, but rather a pleasant pain, an erotic feeling-and not at all intense.,' want all of it in me! I thought… All of it! All of it! Desperate for his prick, I began twisting my hips and pushing against the hard dick, becoming more excited. My movement excited Ju-Ju, and he rammed his cock with more force and speed.
"Then it happened-right out of the blue. I had a terrific come, one that was so strong I almost swooned. 'AHhhhhhhhh,' I cried. 'IN-get-it-all the way in!'
"Daddy gave a final lunge and, almost in a daze, I felt his balls banging against my behind. I clutched at the bed, my knees weak from the sensation of the thing filling my rectum, gasping as Ju-Ju began fucking me, moaning as his sweat-wet body began hunching me. Good! Good! GOOD!
"Then I had another big come! God! It felt like it-it was tearing off the top of my head.
" ‘H-H-How-do-y-you-do you-like-it-P-Paula?'
"'J-Just-f-fuck-me in-the-a-ass and-OHH… f-fuck m-mee-FUCK!'
"I felt him coming off in me, that nice warm feeling of come shooting in my rectum. Panting, Ju-Ju began ramming me in the butt with such force that the bed began moving with each lunge. 'Ohhhh, baby!' he howled. 'B-Baby! BABY! I-Oh-Uhuhuhlillll!'
"After a bit, Ju-Ju started to pull out of me. 'NO NO!' I cried, not wanting him to deprive me of his wonderful prick, which felt as good in my asshole as it did in my cunt. Turning slightly, I took one of his hands and thrust it between my legs, to my cunt, which was dripping with fuck juice. My lust excited him, and I felt his softening cock begin to harden once more. He began playing with my snot-boober, and once more he began twisting and churning his prick in my behind. Oh, my God! This second come had been even better than the first. I couldn't help it, I began to shiver, and, against my will, little whimpering animal noises began popping from my throat. I almost passed out from the sheer pleasure of his come juice spurting far up into my rectum, in conjunction with his fingers working in my cunt.
"'Uh, uh, uh!' I began, so exhausted that even my gasping was feeble. It occurred to me that never had I had such a complete fuck-even if it was in my shit-hole; and finally, when Ju-Ju began pulling out of my buttocks, I felt every inch of his cock as he withdrew. I hated having him remove it; yet I was too sexually depleted to protest. All I could do was kneel by the side of the bed.
"I turned and looked at my stepfather, who was sitting on the floor, looking rather stupid and panting. He finally grinned. 'That was sure a good ass-fuck, honey. We'll have to do it more often… ‘
"We did-scores of times more! And one day… Ju-Ju forgot to lock the door. Mother came home earlier than we had expected and caught us-both of us in my bedroom, stark-naked, his cock in my asshole. I hadn't even come yet…
"For a moment, Mother merely stood there, utter horror and disbelief on her face. Then, without saying a single word, she turned, left the room, and went back down the stairs. She wasn't the only one who was astonished! So was Ju-Ju and I-petrified with fear-so afraid that we could hardly dress. 'What are we going to do?* Ju-Ju mumbled, as if talking to himself, as he left the room. What could we do? There was no explanation. Mother had caught my stepfather and me in the act of ass-fucking. We certainly couldn't deny it.
"I was slowly going 'down the stairs (wondering if Mother might have called the police) when I heard the shotgun go off. It sounded like a cannon-and I saw Ju-Ju a moment later-lying on the living-room floor, his chest blown open, Mother standing over him like a statue, the still smoking shotgun in her hands…
"Frankly, I doubt if this stupid School for Girls will do me any good. For one thing, the English courses here are terrible-and you offer very little in the liberal arts-and I haven't heard a decent piece of music in three months. Well, some people have to chase their second chance; I suppose I'll have to sit and wait for mine."
Paula T- presents the case of an adolescent who is truly perverted in the pathological sense. Such girls do exist-by the thousands. Paula is also a prime example of the adolescent seductress in action. She is also an excellent example of an adolescent female suffering from a very severe Electra complex, this making her actions more amoral than immoral. In seducing her stepfather, she was "acting out" the Electra complex, or (subconsciously) "fucking" her father-as she might say in her own words.
Beyond doubt, the complex has fixated itself in Paula, both in her ego and id. On this basis, it will take years of psychotherapy before she is cured-if ever. But Paula is young; thus we must have hope.
There will be no second chance for Julius ("Ju-Ju") B-, as morally weak as he was shiftless. He paid with his life. Paula's mother was charged with manslaughter and sentenced to 12 years in prison.