"Yeaaaahhhh, baby! You get any hotter and I'm going to have to put a collar and leash on you to keep the other dogs from finding out you're in heat!"
"Pump it, Sammmmmm!!! Yessssssss!"
"Ummph!! Jesusssssssss!"
"Sam?"
"Huh?"
"Are you ok?"
"Just dog tired, baby."
"-laughing-Does that mean you won't take this little puppy to the pound?"
"You have a dog house here for life, baby."
"Sam?"
"Huh?"
"Do you want to get up and take a shower?"
"No, baby. Just let sleeping dogs lie."
We had been friends since we were three years old, so when we graduated from college, went into the same field of work, and neither of us was married, it was only natural that we become room mates.
Sara was a beauty, but I tried to think of her as just a buddy instead of a girl. She had blonde hair and blue eyes and a killer body that had filled out nicely over the years that I had known her. When we moved into the two-bedroom, one-bath apartment, she had been wearing a pair of short cut-off jeans and a tank top that showed off her cleavage every time she bent over to pick up a box. I told myself that I couldn't think of her that way, but it was hard not to do when she would strip down to her panties and a large tee shirt after a hard day's work, and dance around the kitchen to Tina Turner's “Proud Mary” as she stirred something on the stove.
Sara and I had helped each other through many lost loves. I would fuss about the latest bitch that I had gone out with and she would give me comforting words, and I would do the same thing when her latest beau had broken her heart. Her newest suitor, Grant, seemed to be the ideal mate, when suddenly it all turned sour. She came home from their date in tears.
"I hate men!” she screeched as she slammed the front door and threw her handbag to the floor.
I put my beer on the coffee table and looked up from the sofa.
"What's wrong?"
"Men are pigs! I'm going to turn into a lesbian!” she bellowed.
I couldn't help but smile. Seeing two women together had been a long time fantasy of mine.
"Come over here and tell me all about it,” I said as I tried to console her.
"Don't patronize me, Phillip,” she warned, “I'm too pissed off."
"I'm not patronizing you, honey,” I told her, “just come over here and tell me what happened. Here, finish my beer and I'll get us a couple more."
She downed my brew before I could leave the room. It looked like this was going to be a six-pack night.
Once I got her calmed down, she began to tell me how, after two months of dating, that she had found out that Grant was married.
"The asshole. How did you find that out?” I asked
"His wife called him on his cell phone while we were at dinner. He couldn't help but answer it because one of his children had been sick."
"Geez, what a jerk. I hope you told him off."
The expression on her face changed and she giggled.
"I guess you could say that,” she told me as she took another swig from her beer, “I stood up in the restaurant, called him every name in the book, then threw my plate of lasagna in his lap and walked out. I wish I could have been there when he tried to explain that stain to her."
I couldn't help but laugh as I pictured her tantrum. Sara always had a flare for the dramatic.
"So did he try to defend himself?” I asked.
She waved her hands around.
"Same shit, different day,” she said, “My wife doesn't understand me, she hates to have sex, the kids take up all her time, yada, yada, yada. God, and I was so horny tonight."
"Well, sounds like it was best to find out about the jerk early,” I told her.
She began to tear up.
"I know,” she sniffled, “but I was really starting to care about him."
I reached over and put my arm around her, pulling her to my shoulder.
"I know, honey. Maybe I should go and try to seduce his wife to get even."
She giggled.
"That would teach him.” She sat upright and wiped her eyes. “Why can't I find someone sweet like you?"
I stiffened my jaw and tried to look chivalrous.
"They broke the mold when they made me."
"And not at all modest about it, are you?” she snickered.
"Hey, when you got it, flaunt it,” I replied.
She threw a sofa pillow at me.
"You arrogant rat!” she laughed, “I'm going to take a bath. If Grant calls, tell him I moved and to fuck off."
And with that, she left the room. At least I had made her smile.