Sunday mornin’, I’m sleep on my back, and feel lips on my eyelids, then my nose, then my lips. “Wake up, Birthday Man,” I hear. I slowly open my eyes, and see Shavron starin’ down on me, naked and grinnin’ ear to ear carryin’ a breakfast tray.
I yawn, and stretch, then rub my eyes. “What’s good, babe?”
“You,” she says, smilin’. “And I bring you breakfast in bed to finish up last night’s celebration.” I sit up in bed as she hands me the tray. She has my favorite three-cheese and vegetable omelet, hash browns, turkey bacon, sliced strawberries, and a blueberry muffin wit’ a lit candle on it. She starts singin’ Stevie Wonder’s version of “Happy Birthday”—again, clappin’ and jumpin’ up and down. I watch her titties bounce for joy. Feel my dick start to rise. I’m glad I bought that large bottle of Astroglide and tube of KY ’cause yesterday I used almost all of it on her ass tryna keep her pussy extra wet and slippery. And today I plan on usin’ the rest, stretchin’ her cunt to the limit. I fucked her practically all afternoon yesterday, then most of last night which surprises me that’s she’s already up, bouncin’ ’round like a lil’ Energizer bunny.
I yawn again, this time coverin’ my mouth. “Damn, I thought you was gonna be breakfast,” I say, frontin’ like I’m mad.
She giggles. “No, baby…I’m brunch.” She licks her lips, leans in, then slips her tongue into my mouth. I grab her fat ass. She pulls back. “Make a wish, and blow out your candle.”
I close my eyes, smirkin’. I wish this bitch had a wet pussy, I think, openin’ my eyes and blowin’ out the candle.
“What did you wish for?” she asks, eyein’ me all seductive ’n shit.
“For some of that hot pussy,” I lie, pullin’ the covers back and grabbin’ my dick.
She sucks her teeth, grinnin’. “Fool, you get that anyway. What else you wish for?”
“You,” I lie again.
She sighs. “Yeah right, try again.”
I grin, swingin’ ’n shakin’ my dick side to side. “For you to suck on this dick.”
She rolls her eyes. “I shoulda known that was coming.”
“Well, then c’mere and put them pretty-ass lips to work.”
She sucks her teeth. “You lucky it’s your birthday weekend,” she says as she leans in and takes my dick in her soft hands. She licks and kisses the head, then wraps her lips ’round it as she cups my heavy balls.
“C’mon, baby, suck that dick. Stop fuckin’ wit’ me.” She licks and sucks for a few more minutes, then abruptly stops her mini slurp session. “Awww, shit. Why you stop?”
“We got all day for this.”
What the fuck?! This is the same ball gargler who’s always talkin’ ’bout how much she loves suckin’ my muthafuckin’ dick, how much she loves swallowin’ this nut. And now the cum-breath bitch actin’ like she ain’t wit’ it. “Are you serious? You do know that’s fucked up, right?” I stroke my shit. Let it thicken in my hand. “Stop playin’ and c’mon and wet this dick.”
She sucks her teeth, plantin’ a hand on her hip. “Is gettin’ ya dick sucked all you think about?”
“Nah. I think ’bout fuckin’, too. You already know. So what’s good? You tryna put work in or what?”
“Nope.”
A muhfucka’s tryna be nice, I swear I am. But this ho don’t know. I’m a split second from blastin’ her ass. I take a deep breath. “Damn, baby, how you gonna leave me layin’ here wit’ all this hard dick?”
She laughs. “Easy.” She leans over and lightly kisses me on the lips again, grabbin’ my dick. She squeezes it, then licks the head of it before lettin’ go. I watch her ass bounce ’n shake as she goes into the bathroom. I’m smilin’, but on the inside I’m thinkin’, As soon as I finish eatin’, she had better be ready to hop up on this dick, or I’m dippin’ on this bitch. As far as I’m concerned, she’s served her purpose. And we’ve both gotten what we’ve wanted from the other. Now I’m ready to be laid up somewhere wit’ a big-lipped, wet-pussied bitch who knows howta swallow a muthafuckin’ dick!
I glance ’round her bedroom, shakin’ my head tryna figure out how e’ery other room in her spot looks like a muthafuckin’ pigsty, yet this is the cleanest room in her whole spot. Wit’ the exception of my clothes tossed on the floor over in the corner, and the blankets tossed on the floor, e’erything’s neat and in its place. Still, in my head, she’s a nasty housekeeper, and a lazy-ass, dick-swallowin’ bitch. Defintely not the type of chick I’d wanna wife up.
I scoot over to the center of the bed, then frown. Ugh, what the fuck! My ass is in something wet. A reminder of all the fuckin’ we’ve done. I move back over to my side of the bed, take a sip of my drink, bite into a piece of bacon, then cut into my omelet and start eatin’. I can’t front, she did her thing. This omelet is bangin’.
My cell rings. Fuck, I think, placin’ the tray of food on the bed beside me. Let me get this shit to see who the hell is tryna get at me. I get up to get my phone from outta my pants pocket.
She yells from her bathroom, “Tell them other bitches I said to beat it! You with me, and I’m the one you servin’ the dick to all weekend.”
I shake my head. This stupid bitch. “Well, you better act like you ready to put some more work in,” I warn her as I retrieve my phone, “or one of ’em will be takin’ ya spot before the day is over.”
She walks back into the room wit’ Noxema smeared all over her face, lookin’ like a porcelain doll. “Excuse me?”
“You heard what I said. I want you wettin’ this dick.”
She sucks her teeth, goin’ back into the bathroom. “Whatever.”
“Whatever nuthin’. You already know what it is. Don’t have me smack you wit’ it.” I see I have eight missed calls, and twenty text messages. I scroll through ’em, shakin’ my head. Tamera’s bird-ass is still at it. Eleven of the text messages are from her. There’re two texts from Maleeka. I read ’em. My pussy’s on E, nigga. Come thru and fill it up…I’m waitin’ for you to hit me back. I wanna fuck…
She laughs.
I text Maleeka back. I’ll be thru in an hr.
“Oh, aiight,” I say, deletin’ the rest of my texts, then puttin’ the phone back into my pants pocket. “You think that shit’s funny. It’s all good, though, baby. You know I ain’t one to keep sweatin’ a broad for no brain or ass.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she says. “I’ll keep it in mind.”
My phone dings again, then starts ringin’. Shit, I forgot to put the shit on vibrate. It beeps to let me know I have a message. Five minutes later, it rings again. I have a call comin’ in from Ramona’s crazy ass. I press IGNORE.
Maleeka texts back: Don’t have me waiting all day.
“I see you a real busy man. Whoever it is, they are blowin’ ya phone up like it’s a state of emergency.”
I laugh. “Baby, any time someone’s tryna get at this sexy-chocolate nigga and they can’t, that’s exactly what it is. Thought you knew.”
I text back: Whatever. See u when I get there.
Shavron sucks her teeth. “Finish eatin’.”
Don’t tell me what the fuck to do! I take a deep breath. “I’m tryna get you to eat this dick, but you wanna be on some dumb shit.” I put my phone back into my pants pocket, then walk into the bathroom and grab her from behind, wrappin’ my arms around her, and pressin’ my rock-hard body into her back. “I want some head.”
She wiggles herself outta my embrace. “Not now.” She turns on the shower, waits for it to steam up, then steps in. “You joinin’ me in here?”
I wanna bust a quick nut in her mouth, and this ho tryna be on some ole other shit. I stare at her. Take another deep breath. I’ma ask her one more time. “You suckin’?”
She sucks her teeth, sighin’. “I told you, not now.”
“Nah, I’m good, then,” I tell her, takin’ a piss. I flush the toilet, hopin’ the water turns cold on her ass.
“Oh, so what, now you gotta attitude?”
“Nah, baby, never that,” I say back, washin’ and dryin’ my hands, then walkin’ back into the bedroom. I glance over at the clock: 10:16 A.M. Let me get the fuck up outta here. I start slippin’ on my clothes. Instead of straight dissin’ her, I go back into the bathroom to tell her I’m out. “Yo, I’ma get at you later.”
“What?” she asks, stickin’ her head outta the shower curtain. She looks me up and down, realizin’ what I’ve said when she sees me wit’ all my shit on. “Where you goin’?”
“To get my dick sucked.”
“Excuse you?”
“I got shit to do,” I say.
“Oh, hell no,” she snaps, shuttin’ the water off and pullin’ back the curtain. “All of sudden you got shit to do, and you out. But just a few minutes ago you were prancin’ around here naked wanting me to spin ya top. Now you all dressed and shit. That’s real fucked up.”
I stare at her naked body, watch droplets of water and suds roll down her breasts. Her nipples are hard. I lick my lips. Think ’bout suckin’ her tits. Imagine throwin’ her up against the shower wall and fuckin’ her dry-ass pussy ’til it burns and turns raw. I decide against it. Instead, I tell her I enjoyed chillin’ wit’ her; that I appreciate the gift; that it’s time to bounce; that I’ll holla at her later. But the bitch isn’t havin’ it.
“Why, because I wouldn’t suck ya damn dick when you wanted me to?”
“Basically, but it’s all good. I found another willin’ throat to plant this nut in.”
She stares me down. Then the theatrics begin. Hand on hip. Finger pointin’. Neck rollin’. “Whaaaat? Nigga, are you serious? You leaving up outta here to go lay up with some other bitch after I fucked and sucked you practically all damn day yesterday and again last night. And you got the fucking audacity to stand here and tell me that shit.”
“Yep,” I say, shruggin’. Hell, she should be glad I’m keepin’ shit real.
She huffs, puttin’ her hand up. “You know what? You’re an arrogant, selfish-ass motherfucker, for real. Just get the fuck out. I ain’t begging your ass to stay.”
“And I ain’t askin’ you to,” I flatly state. “I shoulda just dipped on ya ass.”
“Yeah, nigga maybe you shoulda. But you didn’t, so dip now, muhfucka.”
“Peace out,” I tell her, walkin’ outta the bathroom. She follows behind me, naked and wet. The bitch tells me to dip, but still trailin’ behind me into the livin’ room, poppin’ shit. What the fuck?!
“So you really gonna fucking leave, right? You gonna dis me for some other bitch, right? Is that how you doin’ yours? You gonna just straight play me like that?”
“Yep.”
“Fuck you then. You ain’t shit, nigga for real. I don’t even know why I ever fucked with your broke ass, anyway. All you good for is fucking ’cause ya broke ass can’t even afford a Happy Meal.”
I slip on my Gores. Let her run her dick suckas. Yeah, I’m broke aiight. But, I’m the same muhfucka sittin’ on close to a hunnid grand, collectin’ interest. Money left over from a settlement I got when a drunk driver—a judge’s wife, no less—in broad daylight, ran a stop sign, jumped a curb, then hit me as I was ridin’ my bike on the sidewalk. I was like eight. And lucky for me I didn’t have parents who tried to run through my paper, which is how I eventually bought my spot—paid in full, and copped me a slick-ass whip. But, this bitch wouldn’t know all that. Keepin’ shit real, a muhfucka like me gotta save for an unexpected drought. You never know when my wells are gonna start dryin’ up, feel me? So I milk these hoes for as long as I can. Bottom line, a nigga like me—who ain’t tryna work—ain’t beat to be broke. And a hunnid grand these days ain’t shit, feel me?
I grab the rest of my shit and head toward the door. “Oh, nooooo, nigga. You ain’t taking that up outta here.”
I turn to face her. “Are you serious?” I ask as if I really give a fuck. I love lettin’ these dizzy-ass broads think I’m some kinda charity case.
“Yeah, motherfucker, I’m dead-ass. Since you on some other shit, let that bitch you getting ready to fuck buy you one. Since she’s all eager to wet your dick, let her come outta her pockets. ’Cause that right there”—she points at the Xbox—“ain’t leaving up outta here. You not gonna fucking try ’n play me.”
I almost wanna laugh at her ho-ass for soundin’ so damn stupid. This dumb bitch let me fuck her e’ery which way, and had no problem gulpin’ down this dick last night—or the other night, or the times before that—but now she wanna talk ’bout somebody tryna play her. Fuck outta here.
“Yo, check this shit out. I don’t havta try ’n play your dumb ass. You did that all by ya’self, boo. E’ery time you let me run my dick up in ya dry-ass pussy and nut in ya raggedy-ass face, you played ya’self. So you can have it, baby. It ain’t that serious, yo. There’s plenty more where that came.”
“Fuck you, motherfucker!”
I laugh, openin’ the front door. “I already did.”
“Just get the fuck out!” she snaps, chargin’ toward the door. Before she can come at me, I slam it in her face. I hop in my car, making my way over to Maleeka’s to get this dick slobbered and wet and spit all over—the way a greedy-cum guzzlin’ bitch is supposed to suck a dick.