PIDDLETRENTHIDE (n.)
A trouser stain caused by a wimbledon (q.v.). Not to be confused with a botley (q.v.)
PIMLICO (n.)
Small odd-shaped piece of plastic or curious metal component found in the bottom of kitchen rummage-drawer when spring-cleaning or looking for Sellotape.
PIMPERNE (n.)
One of those rubber nodules found on the underneath side of a lavatory seat.
PITLOCHRY (n.)
The background gurgling noise heard in Wimby Bars caused by people trying to get the last bubbles out of their milkshakes by slurping loudly through their straws.
PITSLIGO (n.)
Part of traditional mating rite. During the first hot day of spring, all the men in the tube start giving up their seats to ladies and staphanging. The purpose of pitsligo is for them to demonstrate their manhood by displaying the wet patches under their arms.
PLEELEY (adj.)
Descriptive of a drunk person's attempt to be endearing.
PLYMOUTH (vb.)
To relate an amusing story to someone without remembering that it was they who told it to you in the first place.
PLYMPTON (n.)
The (pointless) knob on top of a war memorial.
PODE HOLE (n.)
A hole drilled in chipboard lavatory walls by homosexuals for any one of a number of purposes.
POGES (pl.n.)
The lumps of dry powder that remain after cooking a packet soup.
POLBATHIC (adj.)
Gifted with ability to manipulate taps using only the feet.
POLLOCH (n.)
One of those tiny ribbed-plastic and aluminium foil tubs of milk served on trains enabling you to carry one safely back to you compartment where your legs in comfort trying to get the bloody things open.
POLPERRO (n.)
A polperro is the ball, or muff, of soggy hair found clinging to bath overflow-holes.
POONA (n.)
Satisfied grunting noise made when sitting back after a good meal.
POTT SHRIGLEY (n.)
Dried remains of a week-old casserole, eaten when extremely drunk at two a.m.
PUDSEY (n.)
The curious-shaped flat wads of dough left on a kitchen table after someone has been cutting scones out of it.
QUABBS (pl.n.)
The substances which emerge when you squeeze a blackhead.
QUALL (vb.)
To speak with the voice of one who requires another to do something for them.
QUEDGELEY (n.)
A rabidly left-wing politician who can afford to be that way because he married a millionairess.
QUEENZIEBURN (n.)
Something that happens when people make it up after an agglethorpe (q.v.)
QUENBY (n.)
A stubborn spot on a window which you spend twenty minutes trying to clean off before discovering it's on the other side of the glass.
QUERRIN (n.)
A person that no one has ever heard of who unaccountably manages to make a living writing prefaces.
QUOYNESS (n.)
The hatefulness of words like 'relionus' and 'easiephit'.
RAMSGATE (n.)
All institutional buildings must, by law, contain at least twenty ramsgates. These are doors which open the opposite way to the one you expect.
RANFURLY (adj.)