"But you and me, we're…" Tally's voice caught. She was about to say "best friends forever," but the old words wouldn't come anymore. Peris had never been to the Smoke, had never tangled with Special Circumstances, had never even been in trouble. Everything had always gone smoothly for him. Their lives had been so different for so long.
"You're sure you want to stay?"
He nodded slowly. "I'm sure. But I can still help. I'll keep them busy for you. I'll stay airborne as long as I can, then push the pickup button. They'll have to come out and get me."
Tally started to argue, but she couldn't help remembering sneaking across the river right after Peris's operation, visiting him in Garbo Mansion. He had adjusted so quickly, loving New Pretty Town right from the beginning. Maybe the whole Crim thing had just been a joke to him…
But she couldn't leave him here in the city alone. "Peris, think. Without us around, you won't be bubbly anymore. You'll go back to being a pretty-head."
He smiled sadly. "I don't mind, Tally. I don't need to be bubbly."
"You don't? But don't you feel how much…better it is?"
He shrugged. "It's exciting. But you can't keep fighting the way things are forever. At some point, you have to …"
"Give up?"
Peris nodded, the smile still on his face, as if giving up wasn't really that bad, as if fighting was only worthwhile as long as it was amusing.
"Okay. Stay, then." She turned away, not trusting herself to say anything more. But when Tally looked down, all she saw was darkness. "Oh, crap," she said softly.
The city had run out. It was too late to jump.
Side by side, they stared into the darkness, the wind carrying them farther and farther away.
Peris finally broke the silence. "We'll come down eventually, right?"
"Not soon enough." She sighed. "The wardens probably already know that our cuffs are fried. They'll come looking for us soon. We're sitting ducks up here."
"Oh. I really didn't mean to screw things up for you."
"It's not your fault. I waited too long." Tally swallowed, wondering if Zane would ever find out what happened. Would he think she'd fallen to her death? Or would he guess that she'd chickened out, like Peris?
Whatever he thought, Tally saw their future fading out, disappearing like the distant lights of the city behind them. Who knew what Special Circumstances would do to her brain when they caught her again?
She looked at Peris. "I really thought you wanted to come."
"Listen, Tally. I just got caught up in everything. Being a Crim was exciting and you were my friends, my clique. What was I supposed to do? Argue against running away? Arguing's bogus."
She shook her head. "I thought you were bubbly, Peris."
"I am, Tally. But tonight is about as bubbly as I want to get. I like breaking the rules, but living out there!" He waved his hand at the wild below them, a cold, unfriendly sea of darkness.
"Why didn't you tell me before now?"
"I don't know. I guess it wasn't until we got up here that I realized you guys were so serious about…never coming back."
Tally closed her eyes, remembering what having a pretty mind was like — everything vague and fuzzy, the world nothing but a source of entertainment, the future nothing but a blur. A few tricks weren't enough to make everyone bubbly, she supposed; you had to want your mind to change. Maybe some people had always been pretty-heads, even back before the operation had been invented.
Maybe some people were happier being that way.
"But now you can stay with me," he said, putting his arm around her. "It'll be like it was supposed to be. You and me pretty — best friends forever."
Tally shook her head, a sickening feeling sweeping over her. "I am not staying, Peris. Even if they take me back tonight, I'll find a way to escape."
"Why are you so unhappy there?"
She sighed, looking out over the darkness. Zane and Fausto would already be headed toward the ruins, thinking she wasn't far behind. How had she let this opportunity slip away? The city always seemed to claim her in the end. Was she really like Peris, somewhere deep inside?
"Why am I unhappy?" Tally repeated softly. "Because the city makes you the way they want you to be, Peris. And I want to be myself. That's why."
He squeezed her shoulder and gave her a sad look. "But people are better now than they used to be. Maybe they have good reasons for changing us, Tally."
"Their reasons don't mean anything unless I have a choice, Peris. And they don't give anyone a choice." Tally shook his hand from her shoulder, staring back at the distant city. A set of winking lights was rising into the air, a fleet of hovercars gathering. She remembered that the Specials' cars were held aloft by spinning blades, like the Rusties' ancient helicopters, so they could fly beyond the grid. They must be headed this way, pursuing the final signals of the cuffs.
She had to get out of this balloon now.
Before he'd jumped, Fausto had tied off the descent cord, and hot air was spilling from the envelope every moment. But the balloon, superheated as they'd burned off the cuffs, was losing altitude so slowly…the ground hardly looked any closer.
Then Tally saw the river.
It stretched out below them, catching moonlight like a silver snake, winding out of the ore-rich mountains to make its way toward the sea. On its bed would be centuries' worth of metal deposits, enough to make her hoverboard fly. Maybe enough to catch her fall.
Maybe she could get her future back.
She pulled her board back up onto the rail. "I'm going."
"But, Tally. You can't—" "The river."
Peris looked down, his eyes wide. "It looks so small. What if you miss?"
"I won't." She gritted her teeth. "You've seen those formation bungee jumpers, haven't you? They've only got their arms and legs to guide themselves down. I've got a whole hoverboard. It'll be like having wings!"
"You're crazy!"
"I'm leaving." She kissed Peris quickly, then threw one leg over the rail.
"Tally!" He grabbed her hand. "You could die! I don't want to lose you. …"
She shook him off violently, and Peris took a fearful step back. Pretties didn't like conflict. Pretties didn't take risks. Pretties didn't say no.
Tally was no longer pretty. "You already have," she said.
And, clutching her hoverboard, she threw herself into the void.
The beauty of the world…has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.