The children recognized the awkwardness of the situation. As they joined the group conjugation, emerging from the walls of the slowly enlarging sphere, they limited themselves to a brief kiss, then withdrew into a tangle of small bodies.
Parameter and Solstice were so jittery they could hardly think. The five children they could get to know, but Equinox? What about her?
They got the distinct feeling that the children recognized Parameter, then realized it was possible. Equinox had been talking to them while still in the womb, urging their minds to develop with pictures and sounds. Some of the pictures would have been of Parameter.
Ring children are not like other human children. They are born already knowing most of what they need to survive in the Rings. Then they are able to join with an infant Symb and help guide its development into an adult in a few weeks. From there, the Symb takes over for three years, teaching them and leading them to the places they need to go to grow up strong and healthy. For all practical purposes they are mature at three years. They must be; they cannot count on being with their mother more than the few weeks it takes them to acquire an adult Symb. From that time, they are on their own. Infant physical shortcomings are made up by the guidance and control of the Symb.
Parameter looked at these strange children, these youngsters whose backyard was billions of cubic kilometers wide and whose toys were stars and comets. What did she know of them? They might as well be another species. But that shouldn't matter; so was Solstice.
Solstice was almost hysterical. She was gripped in fear that in some way she couldn't understand she was going to lose Parameter. She was in danger of losing her mind. One part of her loved Equinox as hopelessly as Parameter did; another part knew there was room for only one Symb for any one human. What if it came to a choice? How would they face it?
"Equinox?"
There was a soundless scream from Solstice. "Equinox?"
?????
"Is that you, Equinox?"
The answer was very faint, very far away. They could not hear it.
"It's me. Parameter."
"And Solstice. You don't know me—"
I know you. You are me. I used to be you. I remember both of you. Interesting.
But the voice didn't sound interested. It was cool.
"I don't understand." No one was sure who said it.
But you do. I am gone. There is a new me. There is a new you. It is over.
"We love you."
Yes. Of course you do. But there is no me left to love.
"We're confused."
You will get over it.
The children floated together: quietly, respectfully; waiting for their mother to come to grips with her new reality. At last she stirred.
"Maybe we'll understand it some day," Parameter said.
One of the girls spoke.
"Equinox is no more, Mother," she said. "And yet she's still with us. She made a choice when she knew we were going to be captured. She reabsorbed her children and fissioned into five parts. None of us got all of her, but we all got enough."
Parameter shook her head and tried to make sense out of it. The child who had brought her here had not been willing to tell her anything, preferring to wait until her children could be with her.
"I don't understand how you came to find me."
"All it took was patience. We never reached the crèche; we were liberated on the way here by Alphans. They killed all the Engineers who were guarding us and adopted us themselves."
"What's an Alphan?"
"Alphans are the Ringers who live in Ring Alpha, who are neither Conser nor Engineer. They are renegades from both sides who have opted out of the conflict. They took care of us, and helped us when we said we wanted to find you. We knew where we had been going, and knew it was only a matter of time until you showed up here, if you were still alive. So we waited. And you got here in only nine years. You're very resourceful."
"Perhaps." She was looking at her children's legs. They were oddly deformed. And what were those blunt instruments at the ends of them? How odd.
"Feet, Mother," the child said. "There are surgeons in Alpha, but we could never afford to go there until we had found you. Now we'll go. We hope you'll go with us."
"Huh? Ah, I guess I should. That's across the Cassini Division, isn't it? And there's no war there? No killing?"
"That's right. We don't care if they paint Ring Beta with stripes and polka dots. They're freaks: Conser and Engineers. We are the true Ringers."
"Solstice?"
"Why not?"
"We'll go with you. Say, what are your names?"
"Army," said one of the girls.
"Navy," said another.
"Marine."
"Airforce."
"And Elephant," said the boy.
Manikins
"YOU'RE SURE SHE'S NOT dangerous?"
"Not at all. Not to you, anyway."
Evelyn closed the sliding window in the door and made an effort to control the misgivings that tugged at her. It was a little late to discover in herself a queasiness about crazy people.
She looked around and discovered with relief that it wasn't the patients she feared. It was the fortress atmosphere of the Bedford Institution. The place was a nightmare of barred windows, padded rooms, canvas sheets and straightjackets and hypodermics and burly attendants. It was a prison. With all the precautions it was only natural that she should feel nervous about the people it was built to contain.
She peeked into the room again. The woman inside was so small, so quiet and composed to be the cause of all this fuss.
Doctor Burroughs closed the thick file he had been scanning. Barbara Endicott. Age: 28. Height: 5' 3". Weight: 101. Diagnosis: Paranoid Schizophrenic. Remarks: Subject is to be considered dangerous. Remanded for observation from criminal court, Commonwealth of Massachusetts, murder. Intense hostility to men. There was more, much more. Evelyn had read some of it.