Chiun looked at Smith. Then he looked at Remo's pleased face.
"Very well," he said decisively. "Name it. Whatever it is, I am certain it will be agreeable, for you have been recorded in the histories of Sinanju as Generous Harold the First. "
"You must destroy every record of your service to America that you have in Sinanju."
The Master of Sinanju froze. His head flinched as if from a blow. He said nothing for long moments. Finally, in a low, too-quiet voice, he asked, "Why would you ask me to do such a thing?"
"This letter from Tulip. It is postmarked South Korea."
"Another place entirely," said Chiun. "Sinanju is in North Korea."
"I believe this Tulip has stolen or accessed your records. It is the only explanation for the precise knowledge he possesses."
"Impossible," sputtered Chiun. "The scrolls of Sinanju are kept in the House of the Masters. It is guarded continuously. The door is double-locked."
"That's right, Smitty," Remo put in. "I locked it myself when I left Sinanju. "
"Yes, that is correct," Chiun said. He froze. Suddenly he wheeled upon Remo. "You! You were the last one to leave Sinanju! If my scrolls are missing, it is your fault!" he shouted, leveling a shaking finger at Remo.
"Hey, Chiun, lighten up. You just got through telling Smitty that it's impossible for the scrolls to be missing."
"It is impossible! But if they are missing, it is no doubt your fault, clumsy white who cannot properly lock a door after him. You probably left the water running too."
"Not me," said Remo, folding his arms defensively. He turned to Smith. "Are you sure about this?"
"My computers are secure. They have not been accessed. The only other possible leak is the President. And he denies it. And there's no reason for him to go to the extreme of masquerading as this Tulip. He could shut us down with a phone call."
Remo turned to Chiun. "He's got a point, Little Father."
"Nonsense," snapped Chiun. "If anyone had dared to defile the House of the Masters, my faithful servant, Pullyang, would have seen it and reported it. His last letter to me said nothing of such a crime."
"Isn't this the same Pullyang you once called a barking dog without teeth?" Remo inquired.
"Do not listen to him, O Emperor. He cannot tell a Japanese from an American at three paces. No doubt his hearing is going also."
"It will, if you keep shouting like that," complained Remo.
"Please, please, the both of you," Smith pleaded. "Master Chiun, I'd like your answer."
"My answer is no, no one could have rifled the scrolls of my ancestors. That is a certainty. "
"I meant, will you agree to return to Sinanju to destroy your scrolls?"
"This is an unfair thing you ask of me," said Chiun hotly. "No emperor in history has ever placed such a ridiculous demand upon the House of Sinanju. My answer is no."
Smith nodded grimly. "Very well," he said, standing up. He picked the contract scroll off the desk and studiously tore it down the center.
"Aaaieee!" wailed Chiun. "I worked for days on that scroll. "
"I'm sorry. I cannot sign this document without your agreeing to that stipulation."
"I said no, not definitely no," Chiun complained.
"Then you will agree to destroy the scrolls?" Smith asked.
"Definitely not!" Chiun shouted.
Smith tore the scroll again. Chiun's mouth hung open. Remo grinned broadly. "Looks like we're going home."
Chiun turned on him. "Do not be so smug! This may be your fault for leaving the House of the Masters unlocked."
"I assume," said Smith, "that if you find the scrolls in question are missing upon your return to Sinanju, you will do everything in your power to track them down and eliminate the culprit."
"Aha!" screeched Chiun, his eyes flashing. "I see your game now, Smith. You have tricked me! You are expecting service without payment. Yes, I will track down this thief, if such exists, but do not count upon my eliminating him. Remember the story of Master Sam and the ninjas."
"That is your privilege, Master Chiun. I have my orders. "
"And my contempt," snapped Chiun, striding out the door. "And be assured that this perfidy will be recorded in my scrolls and your name disgraced for all generations to come. "
"I'm sorry it had to end this way," Smith told Remo in a quiet voice.
"I'm not," said Remo, taking Smith's hand. "It couldn't have worked out better. Thanks, Smitty. You want to come along? I'll let you dance at my wedding."
"I don't dance," said Smith, shaking Remo's hand.
"A party pooper to the bitter end," sighed Remo. "It's okay. I don't think you'd fit in anyway. Can we count on the usual transportation by submarine?"
"Of course," said Smith, letting go of Remo's hand. And without another word, Remo skipped out the door, whistling. Watching him go, Smith thought that he had never seen Remo so happy before.
Remo found the Master of Sinanju in his room, writing furiously.
"What are you doing, Little Father?"
"Are you totally blind? I am writing, fool."
"Don't be like that."
"What should I be like? I have been terminated by my emperor. "
"You should be happy. Like me."
"To be happy like you I would have to be an idiot like you. Thank you, no. I will forgo that illustrious experience."
"Then be happy for me. And Mah-Li."
"I am writing to Pullyang now, telling him to prepare for our return. Do not fear, Remo, your wedding will take place as you wish."